


orange trees, separate seas

by spearbi



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Summer Camp, Angst, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Hippies, M/M, camp counselors, edited 8/09/20, mild violence, rated t for im tired, side seungbin, that good good gay agenda
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-08
Updated: 2019-11-08
Packaged: 2020-12-07 16:10:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20978696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spearbi/pseuds/spearbi
Summary: over the course of one summer, cabin leaders felix and chan hate each other, set things on fire, start an anti-hipster campaign, and initiate the greatest prank war that camp yellow wood has ever seen.





	orange trees, separate seas

**Author's Note:**

> prompt #61 for the ficfest!!
> 
> (mild warning for a brief mention of forced coming out and also a wee bit of violence. just a heads up!)
> 
> if you'd like, i've also made [ this playlist ](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7Dnwi5zxjv2BQedAUlO9ub?si=ProWdTzXQ3ufZMY3hMzdBA) for u to listen to while u read
> 
> [ edited 8/09/20 to clean up garbage ]

**JUNE**

The scar on Felix’s forehead is acting up again. It spans from temple to ear, white and thick, and while it doesn’t normally hurt, today it feels tight and itchy. Felix feels along the curve of it with two fingers, a grimace on his face. 

_ Perfect. _This week has not been a good week. It’s not a good sign for Felix, because bad weeks usually turn into bad months, and he doesn’t think he can handle that _now. _ At twenty, most people have _ some _ of their shit together. Felix most certainly does not. 

If he did, he wouldn’t be sitting in the passenger seat of his best friend’s car, elbow deep in a McDonald’s bag and thinking about all the ways one could hide a body. 

The no-shit-together part isn’t even really his fault. Everything would be fine and dandy if it weren't for the existence of Senior Camp Counselor and the Bane of Felix’s’ Entire Existence: Chan. Three characters long and 5’7” of pure misery.

“I really think this is going to be the year,” Seungmin announces, tapping his thumb against the steering wheel of his shitty Toyota Corolla and snapping Felix out of his reverie. “You’re absolutely going to admit that you like him this summer.”

Felix wrinkles his nose and shoves Seungmin’s shoulder. “Why would I do that? He’s gross and obnoxious and _ short.” _

“I’ve been your friend for six years,” Seungmin says emphatically, taking a smooth left turn. This far north, all there is is evergreen trees and flashes of the ocean in the distance. “We’ve been going to Yellow Wood together for five. I remember the exact moment you saw Chan for the first time-you’re in _ love-hate. _Don’t lie to me.”

“I was _seventeen!” _ Felix replies. “Everyone had puppy crushes on the counselors then.” He digs around in the bottom of the McDonalds bag for fallen fries. “And that was before I realized what an _asshole . _he was.”

It’s only 11am on a Sunday, but Seungmin already looks very, very tired. “If you say so,” he says, and then- “oh, we’re almost there!”

Felix perks up despite himself, straining to catch a glimpse of the bright yellow cabins and red rowboats through the dense, tall trees. He rolls down the passenger side window and takes in a deep, full breath of muggy, pine-scented air and sunscreen. 

It sparks a deep sense of nostalgia in him, takes him back to his first day at camp, when he was seventeen and awkward and self-conscious about his freckles. 

( _ His mother drops him off at the main cabin and kisses him on the cheek twice, right in front of everyone. “Love you, bug.” _

_ “Moooom,” Felix hisses, cheeks warming under the amused stares of the other campers. “You can go now!” _

_ With a laugh and a fond smile she does, leaving Felix with a bulky orange suitcase in a sea of unfamiliar people. Hands clammy and pulse pounding in his ears, he follows the bright green signs to the registration table, where two staff members give him a name-tag and inform him that he’ll be in the Spruce cabin with Bang. _

_ “Bang?” Felix queries. _

_ One of the leaders- Cirrus! Her name tag reads- smiles. “All of our counselors have camp nicknames. If you can guess their real name correctly by the end of summer, you win a prize!” _

_ “Oh,” Felix says, bobbing his head awkwardly. “Cool.” _

_ Papers clutched in his one hand and suitcase in the other, he slowly makes his way towards the Spruce cabin, silently cursing his mother for sending him off to summer camp by himself. _

_ As it turns out, Spruce is the cabin at the very top of the hill, which means that Felix is sweaty and panting by the time he treks all the way up the steep gravel path. He drops his bag and sucks in a deep breath. It feels like he’s been deep sea diving instead of climbing a hill. _

_ “Oh my god,” someone says, jogging over, “Are you okay? Are you asthmatic?” _

_ “‘M’fine,” Felix wheezes, waving the stranger off. “Just didn’t know that I’d have to mountain climb my way up to the cabin.” _

_ At this, the stranger laughs, and the sound of it is so nice that Felix looks up from the ground and- oh. _

_ This is the Exact moment he falls in love with Bang. _

_ It’s every cliche TV drama moment rolled into one: time seems to ebb and flow in slo-mo as Felix looks up from the offered hand to the body attached to it. The direction of the sun causes the stranger’s dark curls to be haloed by a gentle golden light. Felix swallows and finds that his mouth is as dry as the Sahara desert. _

_ It’s stupid puppy love for the most part, but when Felix looks up from the BANG! name tag to the counselor’s dark curly hair and dimpled grin, he knows that he’s in trouble, even at seventeen. _

_ Bang is different from Chan, though. Bang is kind where Chan is just a straight up_ _douche. _)

Felix mutters a few choice words about Chan under his breath and shoves the last handful of cold fries into his mouth. 

Seungmin looks over at him, eyebrow raised, but wisely says nothing. “Which cabin do you think they’ll assign us to?” he asks instead, pulling the car into the staff parking lot. 

The sound of his voice pulls Felix from his memories and he blinks, more than a little out of it. They’re early, so there’s still plenty of spots left. Felix scans the parking lot for Chan’s shiny red car and is both relieved and disappointed when he doesn’t find it. 

Seungmin puts the car in park and yawns. “I’m kind of hoping we get Oak. It’s right by the mess hall.” 

“Yeah, Oak or Cedar would be nice,” Felix agrees, just a beat too late. “You think Changbin is going to show up this summer?” He doesn’t miss the faint blush that dusts Seungmin’s cheeks at the mention of the older man’s name. 

“I hope so,’ Seungmin says quietly, and not for the first time Felix envies his friend’s ability to be so open and honest about his emotions. It’s something that Felix has yet to master. 

They leave their luggage in the car- there’ll be time to unpack everything later- and walk up the gravel path to the mess hall. It’s almost like time freezes here, because everything looks the same. It makes Felix feel like he’s back as a camper again instead of a counselor. 

There’s a girl- a woman, technically, sitting on the front steps of the porch. She leaps up when she sees them, hair loose and fine around her shoulders. “Hey, fuckers!” 

"_Language ,” _Seungmin admonishes playfully. He wheezes as she jumps and tackles him with a flying hug. “Can’t believe we’ll have to put up with your annoying ass for another summer, Heejin.” 

Heejin grins and leans over to give Felix a surprisingly tight side hug. “The feeling is mutual. Hey, Lixie.” 

Felix narrows his eyes in mock outrage and ruffles her hair, mussing it up. “Hi, squirtle. Ready to become the owner of a bunch of little gremlins?” 

Heejin grins. “Am I _ever. _You guys are super early, by the way. I’m pretty sure that it’s just the three of us and Jisung right now.” 

“Let’s go say hi,’ Seungmin decides, dusting off his khaki shorts daintily. “It’s been a while.” 

Han Jisung has been working at Yellow Wood _ forever - _he was head counselor when Felix was a camper- and now he co-manages the place with Mr. and Ms. Oh, the owners of the camp. He’s one of those people that you couldn’t hate, even if you wanted to. 

Heejin pushes open the screen door and ambles inside, arms swinging. She’s obviously excited to be back; they all are, really. Yellow Wood is a refuge for a lot of people, campers and counselors alike- it’s a place that holds only good, golden memories. 

Mostly. 

Jisung is sitting at the leader table, round glasses perched on his nose and a sheaf of papers in one hand. He looks up at the sound of footsteps with a smile. “Hey! You guys are early.” 

“That’s what _ I _said!” Heejin exclaims, balancing on one converse-clad foot. “Long time no see, Squirrel.” 

“You’re a counselor, now,” Jisung says amusedly. “It’s okay to call me by my real name.” 

Seungmin smiles and plops down on the bench next to him. ‘Old habits die hard.” 

Jisung snickers. It’s hard to forget that he’s only twenty-nine, sometimes- just eight years older than Felix. 

_Chan is just five, _ a little voice in the back of Felix’s’ head says. _Shut up, _Felix replies, and forces those thoughts to the back of his mind. 

“Hey,” Jisung says, shooting Felix a grin, “You think you’ll be able to reclaim the Counselor Crown this year?” 

The Counselor Crown is pretty much what it sounds like: a tacky copper trophy spray-painted gold, awarded to the best counselor at the end of the summer. These past two summers Felix and Chan have gone neck and neck for it, both spurred onwards by a combination of mutual dislike and a competitive streak longer than the hiking trail behind the camp.

Chan has won for the past two years. Felix chalks it up to his good looks and charisma. 

_ Well, he better look out. _Felix has filled out pretty nicely this year, both upwards and outwards- he’s no longer the boney, gangly kid that he used to be. 

His freckles remain, though, hence the camp name: Freckles. 

Heejin peers over Jisung’s shoulder. “Yo. Lemme see what cabin I’m in.” 

“I was going to wait until everybody got here to give out that information,” Jisung mutters, “But I guess the early bird gets the worm.” There’s a hint of a smirk on his face as he pulls out a chart and hands it to Heejin. 

“Ooh, I’m in _Aspen!” _Heejin squeals excitedly. Her eyes widen as she moves up the chart. “Uh-oh.” 

Seungmin and Felix exchange a look. “What is it?”

“You and Felix aren’t together this year,” Heejin says sadly. 

Felix snatches the chart out of her hand. “W_hat?" _He scans the chart, panic mounting in his chest. 

_ Please don’t let me be with him, please don’t let me be with him- _he’s by himself. 

Felix does a double take. Jisung's blocky handwriting stares up at him, condemning him. 

_ Freckles + Spruce. _

He’s leading a group of kids by himself, in _Spruce _cabin _ . _

Seungmin pries the chart out of his numb hands. “Oh, you’re in Spruce. Sucks for you. I’m innnn… Oak with Sparrow-Hyunjin. Hey! That’s pretty good.” 

Heejin asks the question that Felix won’t ask. “Which one is Bang in?” 

“It’s _Chan,” _ Seungmin replies, trailing a finger down the laminated sheet, “and he’s… oh, shit.” He looks up at Felix apologetically. “He’s in Willow.” 

Felix hopes that the other counselors can’t hear his heart drop to his feet. Willow is _right _next to Spruce- fifteen feet away, to be precise. Felix is going to be leading a bunch of hyperactive children in the worst cabin at camp, right next to the man he detests. 

There must be something on his face, because Jisung’s brows draw together in concern. “Hey, is that going to be an issue? There’s still time for me to switch things around, you know.” 

_ You’re twenty-one, _ Felix reminds himself. _Act your age. _If he has to put up with Chan for this summer, so be it. Shit happens. He shakes his head and shoves his hands into the pockets of his sleeveless sweater in a futile attempt at nonchalance. “Nah, that’s fine. Don’t worry about it.” 

Heejin twirls a strand of hair around her pointer finger absentmindedly. “Are you sure?” 

Felix lets out a heavy sigh. “Yeah.” 

Jisung looks entirely unconvinced, but the screen door swinging open saves Felix from any further cross-interrogation. 

Lee Minho, camp name Puck, steps inside and pulls off his expensive-looking glasses. “And here I was thinking that, for the first time in my life, I was going to be early.” 

“Hey,” everyone choruses, and Minho bows at the waist, exposing a shiny new tattoo of a nine-eyed cat on his collarbones. 

“You’re going to have to wear a shirt over that,” Jisung points out. “You know camp rules.” 

Minho rolls his eyes. “Duh. I have one suitcase dedicated entirely to shirts, Ji. What kind of fool do you think I am?” 

“Our fool,” Heejin says fondly, giving the older man a fist bump. “Nice to have you back, dude.” 

Minho returns the gesture, a smile tugging at his lips. “It’s good to be back.” he turns to Jisung, a gleam in his eye. “I’m with you in Birch, right?” 

“Aye aye,” Jisung replies goofily, a similarly dumbstruck look on his own face. Heejin, Seungmin, and Felix exchange a knowing glance: it’s no secret to the regular counselors that Jisung and Minho have been skirting around each other for years now. Maybe this summer, things will finally move forward. 

The five of them are halfway through Minho recounting a story about his drunken shenanigans in Italy when the sound of boisterous laughter from outside draws their attention. 

Felix glowers; he knows that laugh all too well. Seungmin pats his hand sympathetically. 

Chan always seems to attract people towards him like flies flocking to honey, and now is no different. The devil himself strolls through the door with one arm slung over Hwang Hyunjin’s shoulder and the other over Jeon Jungkook’s. 

He’s _blonde, _now, no longer a brunette, but the curls are still there, loose and wavy. It’s only the third of June, but already Chan’s skin is bronzed; most likely from the Australian sun. Felix has always wondered why Chan makes the expensive flight over to camp just for the summer, but doesn’t care enough to ask the guy directly. 

‘I’m baaack,” Chan sings, kicking out his legs like a trot dancer. “Did you miss me?” 

“Terribly,” Minho replies dryly, batting his eyelashes. “I cried every night for three months just thinking about your ugly mug.” 

Chan laughs- and there go the dimples. “You’re lucky I don’t have any feelings left.” 

“Hyunjin,” Seungmin calls out, “We’re together this summer!”

Hyunjin perks up, a smile gracing his pretty features. “Nice! Where?” 

“Oak!” 

“I’m with Changbin in the kitchens, right?” Jungkook asks quietly. Felix doesn’t know the other man very well, but he seems kind, if a little closed off. 

Jisung peers down at the chart. “Yup! I’m glad you’re back, Jungkook; we really needed a cook with your skill set.” 

Jungkook flushes, clearly pleased, and nods. 

Chan slides the chart out of Jisung's hands, cursing Felix with a view of his perfect side profile. “Let’s see… oh, I’m in Willow? Not bad! The view from there is great.” 

Felix sees the exact moment Chan realizes who’s leading the cabin next to his; the older man’s eyes narrow and the corners of his mouth turn down. “Oh.” 

Felix has his arms crossed and an impressive glare on his face by the time Chan’s gaze lands on his. A small, satisfied grins graces Chan’s lips. “Well well _well, _Freckles. Looks like we’re going to be spending a lot of time around each other this summer.” 

“Not if I can help it,” Felix snaps back. The rest of the counselors fall silent. Felix and Chan’s- Freckles and _Bang’s- _ rivalry is camp lore among the staff and campers at this point. How did it happen? _Why _do they hate each other so much? Nobody really knows, but there are rumours that the two fought over a girl, that Chan broke Felix's wrist over the last strip of bacon at breakfast, and so on. 

And before all that, there’s the cliff story-a rumour to everyone but a handful of the staff at this point.

They’re the two most popular counselors by far- and the most infamous. 

“Try and keep up, then,” Chan says cheerfully. There’s no laughter in his eyes, though. He dislikes Felix just as much as Felix dislikes him. The kindness and laughter is all for show, and Felix can see right through it. 

Felix smiles. “I don’t think it’ll be hard, Christopher. You’re not getting any younger, you know.” 

“Oh, _shit,” _Heejin whispers. Hyunjin muffles a shocked laugh with the palm of his hand. 

Chan’s pleasant expression evaporates. “You were so much less irritating when you were a kid.” 

“Boo hoo,'' Felix says blithely. “Cry me a river.”

Jisung sighs. “Enough posturing, you two. You’re both adults- especially you, Chan. Come on.” 

Felix flashes a smug smile in Chan’s direction once Jisug looks away; Chan grits his teeth and silently seethes. 

Jisung stands up and clears his throat. “We’re still waiting on Jeongin, Chungha, and Changbin, but I’ll start the meeting now.” 

He gestures at the seated counselors. “All of you have been here for two summers or more; all of you know how things run by now. Respect each other and the rules, and everything will run smoothly. _No f_ighting or arguing in front of the campers-,” ( at this, he levels a stern look at Chan and Felix ) “-and absolutely no inter-cabin pranking that will get anybody _injured. _We don’t need a lawsuit.” 

Jisung tilts his head thoughtfully. “Weekly schedules will be posted in the counselor’s common room, and cabin-exclusive itineraries will be distributed directly to your from the office. If you have any questions or concerns, just come and talk to me, Minho, or Mr. and Mrs. Oh. Got it?” 

It takes a chorus of ‘yeah’s and plenty of nodding for Jisung to finally relax. “Okay! That’s about it- feel free to get acquainted with your co-leader, if you have one, and make sure your cabin is ready for the campers tomorrow.” 

At this, everyone begins to disperse, chattering excitedly. 

Seungmin reaches out to snag Felix’s’ arm. “Hey, are you sure you’ll be fine? Spruce and Willow are pretty remote compared to the rest of the cabins- I don’t want to have to walk up there and find Chan standing over your dead body.” 

Felix laughs. “I’ll be okay- and it would be _ me _standing over his body, if anything.” 

“Okay,” Seungmin says slowly, and then, “I hope you have life insurance.”

They both turn to Chan. If looks could kill, Felix would already be so, so dead. 

»»————- ★ ————-««

The path up to Spruce is the same as always. There are wooden stairs, now- no more treacherous gravel slopes- and for that, Felix is grateful. The sun is filtering down through the trees, and birdsong bounces around the lake, light and pretty. 

If it weren’t for the death aura radiating off of the man beside him, the walk could almost be defined as _pleasant _ . 

There’s no laughter on Chan’s face now. Instead, there’s a familiar look that speaks of incoming storms and barely restrained loathing. Felix is expecting a snide remark, or a few choice words, but the words that come out of the older man’s mouth stops him dead in his tracks. 

“Why do you keep coming back?” 

Felix works around the lump in his throat. “Same reason as the past two years.” 

Chan frowns, eyes narrowing. “But-,” 

“For fucks sake, Bang. Not everything is about you.” Irritated, Felix resumes walking, the muscles along the back of his calves burning as he speed walks towards the cabin. How typical of Chan to think that Felix’s’ sole reason for coming back to Yellow Wood was because of him. 

How annoyingly on-brand of him. 

“Felix,” Chan calls, voice razor sharp, but Felix just throws a middle finger over his shoulder and keeps moving forward. 

( T_hat night, there is no moon to speak of, though the night sky is clear and filled with stars. Felix leans against the wall of the boy’s bathroom, frozen and unable to look away. _

_It’s like watching a car crash happen in slow motion: something so impossible and secret that he doesn’t dare blink. ) _

“I hate you,” Felix says quietly, the tips of his sneakers digging into the steep incline. “I _ hate _you.” 

»»————- ★ ————-««

The kids arrive the next day in droves, a sea of mismatched neon colours and clashing sunscreen scents. 

Felix has a smaller ( and older ) group of boys and girls this year: seven kids, ranging from twelve to fifteen. Some of them he’s lead before; others are unfamiliar to him and the camp itself, and it’s apparent in the wide eyed, rabbit-shaken way they carry themselves. 

Seungmin and Hyunjin wait beside Felix for their kids to show up, both men sporting light blue Birch t-shirts. Felix tugs at his own plum-purple shirt apprehensively, eyes searching the throng of screeching children for ones wearing his colour. 

“You’ll be fine,” Seungmin says, nudging Felix with his foot. “Kids always like you, and you only have seven this time around.”

“I _know,” _Felix whines, “It just feels weird to not have a co-counselor this summer. Seven kids is still a lot of responsibility for one person.”

Seungmin shrugs. “Just don’t get into another fistfight with Chan over the last hotdog like last summer.” 

Felix tenses. “That wasn’t even my fault, and _he _threw the first punch.”

"_Felix,” _ Seungmin says tiredly, “I’ve said it a million times. He didn’t punch you. He was giving you the Heimlich because you shoved an entire hotdog down your throat and c_hoked on it.” _

“He drew first blood. Anything after that was fair game.” Felix says primly. 

Hyunjin shakes his head. “You’re a lost cause. I swear to god, the two of you are either going to end up killing each other or fu-,”

“Are you Freckles?”

The three counselors look down. A short, rotund boy stares back up at them. A plum-purple shirt is clutched in his hands, and his eyes are roughly the size of dinner plates. 

“Yeah- Yes!” Felix says, brightening. He holds out a closed fist, and the boy eagerly bumps it with his own. “And who might you be?”

“Ahn Minwoo!” 

Felix checks his clipboard, and yup- number five, Ahn Minwoo, aged thirteen and three-quarters, five foot two with an allergy to p_eaches, _of all things.

“Well, Minwoo- you’re the first Spruce member to arrive!” 

Minwoo beams. “Do I get a prize?” 

“Er- how about another fistbump?” Felix grins as the kid cheerfully complies. “It’s gonna be a good summer, dude.” 

Another teen rolls up- a girl with long braids this time- and Felix forgets about Chan for a few blissful hours. Once all seven campers have arrived, Felix helps them make the trip up the side of the hill to Spruce. They only make it halfway to the cabin before the complaints start to roll in.

Yui Sora sighs and drags one bracelet-covered wrist across her forehead. “Why are we so _high _up?” 

_Because god hates me, _Felix thinks bitterly. 

“Because Spruce is the best cabin,” Minwoo says proudly. “My sister was in Spruce, too! It’s really pretty.”

“But it’s too _far,” _Sora whines. The boy next to her nods quietly, his glasses sliding down the bridge of his nose. 

Felix smiles despite himself. “Wanna know a secret about Spruce?” 

The campers nod eagerly and lean in. Felix holds a forefinger up to his lips and looks around carefully, like he’s afraid of being heard. “There are two, actually. One is that people usually don’t bother to do cabin checks all the way up here, which means that all the candy I hid under my bunk is safe.” 

A couple kids whoop excitedly at this. Felix shushes them before continuing, voice whisper-quiet. “The second is that Spruce is _haunted.” _

Minwoo gasps. 

Kim Jinho raises a skeptical eyebrow. “Really? We’re not kids.” 

“I’m serious,” Felix says. “The ghosts were there when _I _was a camper.” 

Sora tugs on one of her long braids nervously, her eyes wide. “Are they mean?” 

Felix shrugs nonchalantly and starts walking. “Just you’ll have to find out.” The campers stumble after him like a cluster of ducklings, squawking up at him. 

“Are we going to get possessed?” 

“I don’t want to die!” 

“There wasn’t anything about ghosts on the ‘potential injuries’ form!” 

“The ghosts are Yellow Wood’s best kept secret,” Felix says casually. He hesitates, a small smile creeping over his face. This part of his job never gets old. 

“Right after the prank war, of course.” 

The kids go apeshit. 

They forget about the Walk of Death as soon as they see Spruce. Even Felix has to admit that it looks pretty cool- the wraparound porch makes up for the treacherous walk, as does the view of the lake from the top of the bluff.

It’s designated as a ten and up cabin solely because of the potential drop to the beachside below, but there haven’t been incidents since- well, since _Felix, _actually. 

( _ He can barely see through the rain; petrichor fills Felix’s head with the smell of wet earth as he backs away from Bang, head spinning and legs unsteady. _

_ “Felix,” Bang says softly, “What did you see?” _

_ There’s a look in the counselor’s eyes that Felix has never seen before; it’s desperate and a little wild, and the intensity of it makes Felix take several steps backwards. His back presses against the porch railing. _

_ “You,” Felix chokes out, “You were-,” _

_Bang’s face twists up into something close to fear. He steps forward abruptly, and Felix takes an involuntary step backwards. His bare feet slips against the rain-soaked deck, and it makes him stumble back back back. _

_Over the railing he goes. _

_Shock gives him perfect clarity: it allows him to feel each individual raindrop that hits his face as he twists in the air. It allows Felix to see Bang’s face as he leans over the railing, the bow of his lips twisted into something that resembles _Felix. 

_There’s a terrified look on the counselor’s face. He looks at Felix like he’s the end of the world, and despite the situation, Felix can’t help but smile. ) _

“Hey, Freckles?” 

Felix jumps, startled, and looks away from the bluff, fingers curled tightly around the porch railing. “Yeah, Eunsoo?” 

The girl peers over the railing before speaking. “We’re all done unpacking. Can we hear about the ghosts, now?” 

Jinho’s yell is muffled through the wooden cabin walls. “I wanna hear about the prank war!” 

“I’ll talk about both!” Felix calls. He turns back to Eunsoo with a smile, grateful that he won’t be left alone with his memories for at least the next two and a half months. 

The cabin is warmly lit and already messy: eight of the fourteen bunks have clothes and blankets strewn across them. 

Most of the campers have arranged themselves into a loose semi-circle on the wooden floor, save for Minwoo, who sits on his top bunk, looking a little lost. Felix makes a mental note to integrate the boy into the group and claps his hands together. 

“Okay! How many of you are familiar with Bang?”

Several hands shoot up into the air; Sora grins mischievously at the mention of the counselor’s name. 

Felix sits down on the floor, cross-legged. The circle opens up for him. “He’s one of the oldest counselors, and for the past little while, whichever cabins that he and I are assigned to inevitably get caught up in a prank war.” 

“Why?” Eunsoo asks. 

_Because this is a better alternative than murdering each other, and it’s fun. _

“Because it’s tradition,” Felix says finally. “And it’s fun.”

A stocky boy with shaggy black hair- _Kevin, was it? - _ flips a pen expertly between two of his fingers. “What _level _of pranks are we looking at, here?”

“Definitely _Parent Trap _level; maybe a little higher. I’m a _ pro _ at this, you guys, and by the time you guys go home at the end of the summer, you will be too.”

“Awwwesome,” Jinho breathes. “What prank are we going to do first?”

( “What about the g_hosts?” _Minwoo whispers to Eunsoo, who pales at the reminder. ) 

Felix rummages around in his backpack and pulls out a battered, world-weary notebook. “You guys are going to have to come up with the pranks, but I organized the first one for you.” 

The kids crowd around Felix to see the plan. 

Jinho grins. “Oh, I like that.” 

“Is that even _legal?” _Sora asks. 

Oh Daehwi speaks up for the first time, eyes sparkling. “It’s _good, _though. We’ll have to be careful about it, because stealing from the kitchen is against camp rules.” The boy flushes as everyone turns to look at him. “I thought reading the fine print was required!” 

“No, that’s smart of you,” Felix says, and Daehwi beams. “Everyone will know _who _did it, of course, but as long as we don't get caught, we're fine.”

Han Changhoon laughs. “This is your war, and we’re just fighting a battle in it, aren’t we?” 

Felix shrugs and leans back against the wall of the bunk. “Well, yeah. But it’s fun, isn’t it?” 

Seven teens exchange a glance and nod excitedly. Felix covers a grin with his hand. 

_ Chan has _ no _ idea what he’s in for. _

»»————- ★ ————-««

The first night of camp is always the rowdiest. Campers are figuring out pack dynamics and making new friends and enemies; hemp friendship bracelets are being woven and gossip is being passed around cabins like . 

It comes to the surprise of absolutely nobody that eyes weigh heavy on the Birch and Spruce cabins when they trot into the mess hall, fashionably late.

Felix crunches down on an ice cube in his plastic cup and scans his table with a keen eye. “Has everybody gone up for food?” 

Seven heads bob. Felix clicks his tongue and shoots the kids two lazy finger guns. “Nice. I’ll go get myself some, then- don’t get into any trouble while I’m gone.” He winks, and the table bursts into exhilarated giggles. The volume of it is enough to make other tables pause and stare. 

“Sssh,” Felix mock whispers, holding a finger to his lips, and makes his way towards the buffet table, very aware of the eyes boring into his shoulder blades. 

Seungmin is already there, spooning food onto his plate while sneaking glances toward the kitchen, a longing look in his eyes. 

_ Changbin must have arrived. _

“Hey!” Felix says, sliding in beside his best friend and grabbing a plate. “How was your day?” 

Seungmin takes one look at Felix and shakes his head. 

Felix frowns. “What?” 

“Dude,” Seungmin says. “You have a _shit- _eating grin on your face, there’s an unhinged, wild light in your eyes, and your campers all look like they’ve just buried a body.” He loads a bunch of salad onto his plate before continuing. “You’re planning on pranking first, aren’t you?” 

Felix hums and casts a look over to the Spruce bench- and yeah, his kids look like they’re trying to cover up a murder, but it’s not like any of that really matters now. He snatches the tongs away from Seungmin cheerfully. “Gimme.” 

“Manners,” Seungmin chides, but hands over the utensil anyways. It smells like camp food and woodsmoke inside the mess hall. The familiarity of it washes over Felix in a warm, comforting wave. It makes him think that maybe, just maybe, this summer won’t be so bad after all. 

He chats idly with Seungmin about their respective cabins- Hyunjin is a good co-leader, apparently, which is good. Felix knows how nervous Seungmin can get about taking care of all those kids- and he has fourteen, which is a lot by any standards. 

“You look _really _happy,” Seungmin mutters. “I don’t like it.” 

Felix bats his eyelashes demurely and scoops rice onto his plate.

Seungmin figures it out once they reach the end of the buffet table. “Oh my god. Oh my _god.” _

Felix cackles and tosses a crouton into his mouth. 

“You’ve done it already, haven’t you?” Seungmin calls after his retreating back, amusement mixing with exasperation. “You _asshole.” _

“Language,” Heejin sing-songs, cutting in front of several wide-eyed children. “Little pitchers and all that.” 

“I’m sure _Chan’s _ little pitchers are going to be hearing a lot of that later,” Seungmin mutters. Heejin stares at him uncomprehendingly before gasping. 

“He did _not.” _

Seungmin nods. “He did.” 

The pair of them watch Felix sit down at the picnic table. The kids all lean towards him, faces bright and open. 

Heejin shoves a roll of bread into her mouth. “Well, the kids love him, and that’s what matters, right? His rivalry with Chan is funny as hell, honestly- it’s brought in more campers than the actual newspaper ads have.” 

Seungmin’s mouth flattens into a thin, straight line. He thinks of a stormy summer night four years ago, remembers the way Felix had looked at the bottom of the cliff: tiny and crumpled. 

“Yeah,” he replies quietly, gaze swinging over to the Birch bench. Chan watches Felix intently, brow furrowed and gaze distant. He remembers how Chan had looked so guilty, like he’d _done _something wrong. “It’s really funny.” 

It’s no secret that Felix hates Chan. It is a secret, however, that Seungmin hates him too: a quiet, protective kind of hate that not even Felix is privy to. 

He watches Chan watch Felix, and knows that he will do anything to keep his best friend from getting hurt again.

»»————- ★ ————-««

Changhoon leans over the back of his bunk, a stick of red licorice between his teeth. “What are we doing tomorrow?” 

Felix looks up, careful not to jostle Eunsoo or Minwoo’s handiwork. “Hiking, arts and crafts, lunch, water sports, and then free time, I think.” 

Eunsoo purses her lips and twists another lock of Felix’s hair into a miniature ponytail. His hair has gotten long enough to scoop into little pigtails, apparently. “Hiking, first thing in the morning? Gross.” 

“ _I _think it’ll be awesome,” Daewhi announces, smirking over the edge of his book. Eunsoo rolls her eyes as the other teen sticks his tongue out at her. “Do boys get less annoying when they’re older?” 

Felix shakes his head sympathetically. “Nope.” 

“Darn.” 

Somebody pounds on the door, and everyone jumps. 

“It’s here,” Minwoo whispers shakily. “The _ghost.” _

Felix runs a hand over his head and winces. “That’s no ghost.” He stands and makes his way over to the door, motioning for the campers to be quiet. He peers through the peephole and is greeted by Chan’s absolutely _ incensed _face. Snickering, he pulls open the door. 

“Oh, _my ! _What on earth happened to you?” 

Chan glowers at him, clothes plastered to his body with a sticky combination of milk and honey. “You know _exactly _what happened, you piece of-,” 

Felix nonchalantly opens the door a little wider, showcasing the cabin full of wide-eyed teens. Chan grinds his teeth together and starts over, voice tight and carefully controlled. “You know exactly what happened, because you did this.” 

“Says who?” Felix questions, leaning against the doorframe. Chan’s eyes wander up to the little pigtails on either side of his head. “Hello? Mister Bang?” 

Chan clears his throat and narrows his eyes. “First day of camp is off-limits. You know that.” 

Felix raises an eyebrow. “Oh? There are rules, now?” 

“No, but-,” 

“If life was predictable,” Felix says, a smug smile threatening to crack open his composed expression, “then it wouldn’t be _fun, _would it?” 

There have been a lot of satisfying moments in Felix’s life. Watching a honey-covered Chan struggle to formulate a retort on the doorstep of _h__is c_abin has to take the cake. Felix leans in, smiles sweetly. “This summer is going to be different, you know.” 

Chan blinks at him. “How?” 

“We’re not playing by _your _rules this time,” Felix says, and adjusts one of his pigtails. “We’re playing by _mine.” _

And then he shuts the door in Chan’s face. 

(_ His head aches- burns like there are a thousand dying stars going supernova inside his skull. People move around him, out of focus and blurry. _

_The rain hits his face, slick and cold. _

_“-elix,” someone is saying, voice tight and fearful. “Felix. I called for help. Stay awake, okay?” _

_“Okay,” Felix tries to reply, but all that comes out is a faint, high whine. He tries to move his fingers but can’t feel them- can’t feel much of anything, really. He can move his eyes a little, however, so he tears his gaze away from the sheets of rain above him to the lights on the top of the cliff. _

_Oh. He’s fallen. That’s scary. _

_The person leans over him, curls soaked and plastered to his face, eyes wide and lips pale. _

Chan_ , Felix thinks fuzzily. _Your real name is Chan. 

_When he slips into unconsciousness, it’s laced with victory. _

I win _ . ) _

Over the next few days Felix treads carefully, keeping a wary eye on Chan and his cabin. He wakes up early one morning to find the floor of the cabin smeared with vaseline and peanut butter, much to his bemusement. 

It’s pretty tame for their level, which is how he knows that something big is brewing on the horizon. There’s nothing to do but hunker down and wait, though, so Felix does. His own kids settle in and bond quickly with each other; so far, there haven’t been any petty spats, which is a relief. 

There’s nothing more spine chilling than truly angry teenagers. 

He’s helping Jungkook and Changbin prepare lunch in the kitchen on a Tuesday when he overhears something that he’s definitely not meant to. 

The swinging doors fly open. Felix pauses, floured knuckles deep in a bowl of cold cookie dough.

Jungkook coughs once, twice. “Chan,” he says loudly, a subtle warning to Felix. “What’s going on?”

Felix looks around the kitchen wildly before dashing over to the walk-in cooler and stepping inside. Making sure not to close the door fully, he peers through the gap in the doorway, curiosity piqued. 

Chan leans against the counter Felix was just working on, fingers worrying at the puka shell necklace around his neck. Hemp bracelets adorn his wrists- gifts from his campers, no doubt. 

“-is the issue,” he says lowly. “I don’t think I can do this if he comes back here.” 

Jungkook stares down at the ground and sighs. “He never meant for all of that to happen- it was years ago, Chan, and he-,”

“He took away my choice,” Chan hisses. He looks _ upset; _his face is red and the tendons in his neck are tense. “I can’t believe you’re siding with him!”

“I’m _not,” _Jungkook retorts, shoulders squared. “I’m just saying that you shouldn’t let what he did then dictate your choices now. Don’t give him that power.”

Chan sighs and slumps against the counter. Felix gnaws at the inside of his cheek, head buzzing. Who is this man?_ The way Chan talks about him is scary. _Felix knows what irritation sounds like, is familiar with the way that anger slurs vowels. 

He isn’t quite able to put his finger on the emotion running through Chan’s voice , however. It’s only when Chan and Jungkook are long gone that Felix reaches his epiphany. 

“Oh,” Felix murmurs, fingers frozen around a handful of cookie dough, "_T__hat’s _what it was.” 

It was hate, plain and dark and ugly. 

»»————- ★ ————-««

**JULY**

It’s on their fifth weekly staff meeting that Jisung drops the bomb. 

“Felix, how would you feel if I brought another counselor to work with you for the rest of the summer?”

Felix looks up blearily from his coffee, half-asleep and blind to the red flags. “What? Yeah, that’s fine. Am I not doing well enough by myself, or-?,”

Jisung shakes his head and takes a sip of his tea. “That’s not it. A parent of one of the kids complained about there only being one counselor- an oversight on my part, I suppose.”

“Oh, cool.” Felix yawns. “Who is it?”

Belatedly, he notices how tense Chan is in his seat. 

“He was a counselor a few years back,” Jisung says casually. “His name is Lee Bomhyul.”

Chan stands up abruptly, his chair sliding back with a ear-grinding screech, and stalks out of the room, slamming the door behind him. There’s a long, profound silence. 

Felix picks up his now half-empty coffee from the floor, eyes wide. “What the fuck?”

“Yeah, what the fuck?” Heejin echoes. 

Jungkook mutters something under his breath and leaves the room as well, leaving behind a tense, awkward circle of uncertain eye contact in his wake. 

“I think,” Jisung says finally, “that there might be some bad blood there.”

Seungmin snorts. “You think?” 

Felix takes a contemplative sip of his coffee. _I’ve never heard of Lee Bomhyul before. _It doesn’t feel foreign to him, though: it’s possible he’s heard the name mentioned in passing before. 

Maybe putting a face to the name will shed more light on whatever the hell is going on. His scar itches; Felix wrinkles his nose and scratches it absentmindedly.

Jisung leans back in his chair and narrows his eyes. “I’ll sort it out. I don’t want any more issues between staff here. You all need to communicate with each other and me, alright?”

Felix nods and stares out the window, watching the sun peek out from behind the tree-line. Something isn’t right- but with Chan, is it ever?

»»————- ★ ————-««

That night, Felix gets jumped. Kind of. It starts off like this: he’s on his way back up to Spruce after talking with Seungmin and Heejin at length about alien conspiracy theories. 

( _“The way I see it,” Seungmin says conversationally, head tipped back to look up at the unusually bright night sky, “is that we as a race would be narcissistic to assume that we’re the only and most advanced form of life out there.” _

_Heejin nods, a lollipop lodged in one cheek. “Obviously. We suck.” _

T_he smell of campfire smoke and burnt sugar wafts by; a pair of teens dash down the gravel path towards the lake, clad in mosquito repellent and bathing suits. Technically, evening swims aren’t allowed, but it’s an unspoken rite of passage for the fifth years so the counselors turn a blind eye. _

_Felix hums and cups his hands around the sides of his face, blocking out the buzzing electric porch lights. It takes a few moments for his eyes to adjust to the sky. Slowly, the stars fade in; first are the brightest stars- the dying ones- and then the softer, muted ones, pink and purple and blue halos dancing faintly around their outermost layers . _

_They look like jewels, Felix thinks, tracing the immortalized figures of Orion and Aquila and Lyrus, and is given yet another reason to come back to Yellow Wood. _ ) 

Something about stargazing mellows Felix out, fills up all his hollow places with spun silk and cotton. He walks the path back to Spruce feeling like several weights have been lifted off of his shoulders. The ground, still warm from hours under the sun, steams slightly as it mixes with the cooler night breeze drifting through the trees. 

Felix closes his eyes and takes a deep, even breath. _ Pine, smoke. The promise of rain. _

A branch cracks, gunshot-loud in the stillness of the woods. Felix freezes. 

_There’s someone here. _Another branch cracks, fainter this time. The little hairs on the back of Felix’s neck stand straight up, goosebumps prickling up and down his forearms. 

And then he’s dragged roughly into the bushes. Adrenaline sparks an explosion under his skin; he kicks out at the figure covering his mouth and is rewarded with an agonized, muffled ‘_ fuck!’ _

_Right in the balls, then. _

“Keep your _ voice _down,” a familiar, lightly accented voice hisses, and Felix pauses. “You’re going to wake half the cabins up with your yelling.”

“Well,” Felix retorts, fighting back the urge to bite down on the fingers loosely covering his mouth, “I wouldn’t be yelling if you hadn’t attacked me.” 

He pries Chan’s hand off of his face and takes two big steps backwards. “Can’t you just talk to me like a normal person? Oh my _god ,” _he splutters, batting cobwebs and stray branches away from his face, “I think I just swallowed a spider."

The moon is just big and bright enough that shadows from the trees above them dapple across Chan’s face. It might be the watery lighting, but Chan looks _e__xhausted, _dark smudges under his eyes and hair messy. 

Felix almost feels bad for him until he remembers that Chan is, well, Chan. “What do you want?”

Chan shifts his weight from foot to foot and narrows his eyes. “I want- I need you not to say anything to Bomhyul.” 

There’s a beat of dumbfounded silence on Felix’s part. _T__he new counselor? _“Why would I? I don’t know him.” 

Chan freezes. “Yes, you do.”

( _ That night, the moon was full and luminous, hanging low over the copse of pine trees- ) _

Felix can feel the corners of his mouth twisting downwards. “I really _ don’t. _I can’t believe you think that I’m gullible enough to fall for whatever elaborate prank this is.” He turns to leave because it’s cold and there’s definitely a spider in his pants.

“Felix,” Chan calls, and the note of genuine desperation almost ( almost!) makes Felix turn back around. “_Please.” _

He doesn’t know what Chan is pleading for, so he keeps walking, resolutely ignoring the uncomfortable twisting in his chest. 

Minwoo is sitting on the porch steps when Felix finally makes it to the top of the bluff, chubby hands cupped around his eyes. 

“Hey,” Felix says conversationally. “See any aliens up there?”

“Well,” Minwoo replies, glasses foggy, “I can see the milky way, so I suppose I can. Did you know that our planet is subatomic in size compared to the rest of the galaxy?”

Felix shakes his head. It’s strangely comforting knowing that he’s so insignificant. “You want to come back in? It’s getting late.”

“Just a few more minutes? Please?”

Felix smiles fondly. “Fine. Just stay away from the rails, okay?.” He casts one more look up at the dazzlingly clear sky before slipping inside the cabin, making sure to keep one eye on the kid stargazing outside. 

Despite being bone-tired, he doesn’t sleep well at all that night. 

He doesn’t let himself think about _why. _

»»————- ★ ————-«« 

**AUGUST**

Bomhyul arrives the next morning, in a rusted blue pickup truck covered in cutesy bumper stickers with sunflowers and ‘live, laugh, love’ printed on them. 

Entrusting his kids to Seungmin, Felix sneaks out the mess hall to meet him. Chan doesn’t like him, so he must be interesting, right?

Felix watches the man attempt to park and thinks that Bomhyul is the least intimidating person he’s ever seen, if his vehicle is anything to go by. The guy gets out, back to Felix. There’s a worn ukulele case in his right hand. He’s short but cute in like, a beach hippie kind of way, with a long braid down his back and faded woven bracelets adorning both his wrists. 

_Like Chan, _ Felix thinks, and immediately regrets the comparison, because Bomhyul turns around and it’s _him, _ it’s him, how had he _forgotten- _

\- _ on that night, Felix creeps out of the spruce cabin, letter held tightly between his shaky fingers. He looks up, surprised to see the moon so close to the earth, pauses briefly to trace the craters and domes pockmarking the silver surface- _

_-“I told _ you,” someone is saying. Felix realizes that he’s being dragged off by Chan, who has one arm firmly around his midsection and the other clutching one bicep. “I asked you not to do or say anything, I _told _you-,”

“You’re making a scene,” Felix says weakly, very aware of the eyes turning to watch them as Chan frog marches Felix across camp. His scar tingles. “My campers are still at the mess hall- I need to go back.”

_The man- Bomhyul- opens his eyes. Felix stills, scarcely daring to breathe, but his gaze finds Felix’s anyways. _

_And he smiles, hard as diamond. _

They pause at the staff parking lot. Chan drops his arms from around Felix’s waist. Felix is a little sad about it, and annoyed at himself for being sad about it.

“_He _can take care of them for today,” Chan grits out, digging around in his pockets with one hand and pulling out a set of keys. “_We’re _going for a drive.”

“I always knew you would end up murdering me,” Felix quips, but the trembling in his fingers gives him away. 

Something in Chan’s face softens. “Get in.” 

Felix nods and clambers up into the passenger seat of the Jeep. The seats smell like sea salt and orange creamsicles. A jade figure of a jumping dog swings from the driver’s mirror. There’s a bright, sand-crusted surfboard shoved into the backseat.

_Bomhyul is _the guy. _He’s the one who _ \- 

-_ there’s a second face peering over the edge of the bluff- _

Chan tears down the long, dirt road like a bat out of hell, fingers white around the brown leather of the steering wheel. 

Felix exhales shakily and presses his forehead against the cool glass of the window. He doesn’t even have the energy to pretend to be mad at Chan, now. He’s just terribly, awfully exhausted; right down to his bones. They drive in silence for a while; Felix watches the muted green scenery through the window, eyes heavy and stomach churning. 

It begins to rain, thick and heavy, and Chan flips on the wipers. The repetitive _thunk-thunk _counts the seconds and miles of asphalt the car eats up. 

“Where are we going?” 

“For food.” 

Felix sits up properly, hair sticking up in tufts. “Yeah, but _where?” _

Chan shrugs. “You’ll see.” 

“This is the start to like, every cliche indie horror movie. You realize that, right?” 

There’s something close to amusement in Chan’s expression. “Neither of us are hipster enough to be shoved into the indie category.” 

Felix laughs-the kind of laugh that you’re not expecting, the kind that bubbles up and out of your chest. “You’re wearing Birkenstocks.” 

Now _that_shuts him up. 

They drive for hours. Felix watches the sun dip and start to sink in the sky, tingeing the low-hanging clouds in shades of purple and peach and saturated pinks. The trees thin out until they disappear entirely, bringing the flat, sparking expanse of sea into focus. 

Chan turns onto a rocky side road and follows it down a steep little slope until they wind up in a small gravel parking lot adjacent to the beach. 

Felix watches Chan unbuckle his seat and slide out of the driver side door with wary eyes. Maybe Chan really _is _planning to murder him. Maybe this beach is where he hides all of his victims. 

A sudden tap on the glass makes him flinch in his seat. 

“Christ,” Chan snickers, voice muffled through the window. “Jumpy much?”

Felix gives the older man his best glare and unbuckles his own seatbelt. “Dude, seriously. Where are we going?” 

Chan pulls the door open for him. Felix tries to pretend like he isn’t even a teeny bit charmed by that. “Food.”

Felix gestures to the empty beach and the vast glittering sea beyond. “Of course! I should have known. Thanks so much for clarifying.”

“Just- come _on.” _ Chan shoves his hands in his pockets and trots off surprisingly fast for a man who could be cast as one of the dwarves in a live action version of _Snow White. _

Exhaling sharply, Felix follows. It’s not like he has a choice. After a couple hundred metres of walking down the beach, they make a sharp turn around a small copse of trees. 

Felix shakes sand out of his Nike slides and blinks rapidly. “Oh, wow.”

There’s a little restaurant nestled on top of a cliff, right above the beach. Faintly glowing fairy lights lead up to a set of well-worn but sturdy looking stairs. The restaurant itself seems like a building out of time, with weathered stone walls and bunches of bright flowers hanging from hooks on the eaves.

_It’s beautiful. _

Chan, standing at the foot of the stairway, looks back at Felix over his shoulder. The setting sun slides magenta and burnt umber over his sharp features. “Are you hungry?” 

“Hngh.” Felix clears his throat. “I mean, yeah. How did you even find this place?”

Chan fiddles with one of his woven bracelets. “It was a happy accident. One of my tires blew, and instead of sitting in my car for two hours until the tow truck came, I wandered around the beach.”

The stairs are creaky. Felix grips the steel railing and tries not to look down. A little sign greets them once they reach the top: _Welcome to Crow & Gate! _

Felix smiles. “This could be right out of _Lord of The Rings.” _

Chan brightens and then screws up his face, like he’s not sure how he feels about _ agreeing _with Felix for once. “It is. I’m certain I ran into Gandalf here once.” 

“Oh, so you’re a nerd.” 

“You’re the one who brought up _Lord of The Rings!” _

“Yeah, because I saw the movies, like, once. You know all the names, which makes you a textbook nerd.” 

“That’s just called being able to _retain informatio__n _like any other normal human being, Felix! Does knowing the names of musicians I listen to also make me a nerd?” 

Felix bats his eyelashes. “Yes.” 

A new voice cuts in politely. “May I help you two?”

There’s an elderly man standing in the doorway, a dark blue apron tied across his ample waist. His round, bearded face is tanned and wrinkled, and his eyes glitter with amusement. Chan coughs and steps forward. “Nice to see you again, Mr. Yonghwa.”

The elderly man waves his hand dismissively. “How many times do I have to tell you, boy? Just call me Yonghwa. Adding honourifics makes me feel old.” 

Felix decides not to comment on that. Yonghwa turns to him and holds out a hand. “And who are you?”

Chan gestures feebly at Felix. “This is Felix. He’s a... friend.” 

Felix takes Yonghwa’s hand and shakes it cheerfully. “Yeah. We’re _super _good friends.” He throws in a wink for good measure, silently reveling in the strangled noise that comes out of Chan’s mouth. 

“I see,” Yonghwa says steadily, a hint of a smile on his lips. “May I interest you in tonight's dinner special?” 

The inside of the restaurant is even more eclectic than the outside, with rough wood planks for tables and yellowing pieces of paper plastering the walls. 

_They’re all letters. Hundreds of them. _

The restaurant is surprisingly packed despite the remote location; nearly every table is filled. Felix makes eye contact with a wizened old woman with a live mouse sitting on her shoulder and drops his gaze. 

Yonghwa gets them settled in a booth overlooking the ocean, promises to return for their orders, and leaves. 

“So,” Felix says quietly, tapping his fingers against the glossy menu, “What did you want to talk about? I’m assuming you’re not just trying to wine and dine me.”

Chan turns red and nearly sprays a mouthful of iced tea all over the table. 

“Uh-no.” He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. “I guess I kinda wanted to clear the air. With the whole thing around me and Bomhyul.”

Here’s the thing: Felix _knew _that this was what Chan wanted to talk about. He knew, he knows, but hearing it out loud causes a chill to run up his spine.

“Okay,” Felix says, and then once more for good measure: “Okay.”

Chan rubs his eyes with both hands. The dark circles under them are more prominent than ever, like they’ve been painted with a brush. “Right. So, I’m sure you’ve figured out most of this story. The year you came to camp was the year that Bomhyul did, too. I’d never met anyone like him.” 

He stops to take another sip of his drink. Felix watches his hands shake. “Back then, I hadn’t really realized that I was gay.” 

The words come out tight, forced- like it pains Chan to say them. He looks over at Felix like he’s waiting for the other shoe to drop, like Felix hadn’t been there on that night four years ago (like he hadn’t _seen _it ).

“I’ve dated men and women,” Felix confides anyways, tracing around the rim of his glass with his pinky finger. “You’re not going to get any judgement from me.” 

“Oh,” Chan says, surprise colouring his voice. “I thought- I didn’t know.”

Felix thinks of all the endless summer days he spent trailing around Chan like a red-faced puppy and laughs. “I figured.”

Chan stares at him silently for a long moment. Felix can see the gears turning in his head. Eventually, he continues. “I hadn’t realized I was gay, so Bomhyul was really… he really took me by surprise. 

He made it clear from the start of camp that summer that he was interested in me. He was also pretty resistant about letting other people know about us. About what we were doing.”

Chan crinkles the paper casing from his straw between his fingers. “And that’s where you came in. I don’t know why you were out there that night, but it wasn’t your fault. I should have known- I should have been able to stop him, or _something-,” _

Felix forces his vocal cords to work. “What do you mean? I fell.” 

“No, you didn’t.”

“What?” 

Chan drops his head into his hands, palms pressed over his eyes. “You didn’t trip and fall over the bluff that night. Bomhyul pushed you.”

_Bomhyul pushed you. _

Felix swallows and traces the path on his temple- _ forty stitches, induced coma - _his head throbs, once, twice- and then, all at once, he remembers. 

( _ That night, the moon was full and luminous, hanging low over the copse of pine trees. _

F_elix creeps out of the spruce cabin, letter held tightly between his shaky fingers. It’s taken him weeks to draft the final version; hopefully Bang will read it. _

_He looks up, surprised to see the moon so close to the earth, pauses briefly to trace the craters and domes pockmarking the silver surface. He sighs, red cheeks kept secret by the dim silver light, and makes his way towards the counselor’s room, entirely ready to wait outside the cabin until Bang comes out. _

_He tucks the letter into his jacket pocket and wraps his arms around himself. It’s unseasonably chilly; the air smells like ozone. _

_He’s several steps past the bathrooms when he hears the low, muffled voices.< /i> _

_“-don’t know if-,” _

_“Does it matter?” _

_Felix stills, one foot hovering just above the ground, and listens. _

_”I just don’t want to sneak around anymore!” _

Bang? _ Careful not to tread on any twigs, Felix creeps over to the row of washrooms and sidles along the wall. It is Bang. The counselor is standing in the small clearing behind the washrooms, arms folded. Another man stands in front of them. _

_Felix can count the inches between them on his fingers, and he does. Four. _

_“I love_ _you,” the man insists, and something in Felix’s chest caves. “I mean it, Chan.” _

_Chan. His real name is Chan. Felix covers his mouth in order to prevent himself from saying it aloud. _

_The strange man steps forward ( two inches now ) and catches Chan’s chin with his thumb and forefinger. Instead of moving away, Chan steps forward, eyelids sliding shut, the cupid bow of his lips parting. _

_In the gentle silver gouache of moonlight, he looks like every marble Greek sculpture to ever exist: beautiful, pristine, non-human. _

_Untouchable. _

_Felix leans against the wall of the boy’s bathroom, frozen and unable to look away. It’s like watching a car crash happen in slow motion: something so impossible and secret that he doesn’t dare blink._

(_ One inch. Zero. ) _

_The man whispers something that doesn’t quite reach Felix’s ears, and kisses Chan. It’s not a gentle kiss. It’s not the fairytale kiss Felix thinks- knows- that Chan deserves. It’s raw and passionate and a little angry, the kind of kiss that makes Chan clutch at the stranger’s bicep and make a soft, fluttering noise. _

_Felix bites the inside of his cheek and involuntarily crumples the letter in his pocket. _

That should be me, _ he thinks, even though the rational part of his brain is fully aware that he’s seventeen and Chan is twenty. _I would be gentler. 

_Chan pulls back and smiles at the other man. It’s one that Felix has never seen before, and it’s so achingly tender that Felix isn’t able to hold back the broken noise that tumbles past his lips. _

_The man whirls around, eyes narrowed. He’s handsome, but the dark look in his eyes warps his features. “Who’s there?” _

_Felix shivers and tries to moves back. He steps on a dead branch. In the sudden silence the snapping sound is like a gunshot. _

_“I _ see _ you,” the man hisses, and lunges towards him. Felix gulps and books it, heart slamming against the inside of his ribs. _

_“Wait,” Chan calls, but Felix is seventeen and heartbroken and more than a little scared of the man sprinting after him. _

_Somewhere along the dusty path back up to Spruce, the skies crack open, pelting both Felix and his pursuer with rain. The other man might be older and stronger, but Felix has slogged up this hill every day for the entire summer, and he’s _terrified. 

_He gets to Spruce and crumples onto the porch, wheezing and shivering. He squints down the hill, barely able to make out the trees for the thundering sheets of rain. Bile rises in his throat. _

_Chan loves somebody else. _

_Realistically, it’s not surprising. Felix has never had a snowball’s chance in hell with Chan- he’s a camper and a minor. Still, though. It still hurts. _

_“Found you.” _

_Felix whips his head up, adrenaline coursing through his entire body. The man stands there, breathing heavily. _

_“Leave me alone,” Felix says hoarsely, standing on wobbly legs and backing up until his back hits the rain-soaked railing. “I didn’t see anything.” _

_The man shakes his head. His movements are smooth, predatory. “You did, though. You were spying on us, little dude. I’ve seen you following Bang around for weeks. You’re probably planning on telling the entire camp.” _

_“I wasn’t, I _swear-,” 

_“Felix!” Chan clambers up the porch steps, eyes wide and hands spread placatingly. “Can we just calm down, please?” _

_The man shakes his head. “He was spying, Chan.” _

_“He’s one of my kids!” _

_ ”I’m not a kid,” Felix spits, fingers digging into the soggy wood. “Don’t talk about me like I’m not here.” _

_He can barely see through the rain; petrichor fills Felix’s head with the smell of wet earth as he backs away from Chan, head spinning and legs unsteady. _

_“Felix,” Chan says softly, “What did you see?” _

T_here’s a look in the counselor’s eyes that Felix has never seen before; it’s desperate and a little wild, and the intensity of it makes Felix take several steps backwards. His back presses against the porch railing. _

_“You,” Felix chokes out, “You were-,” _

_Chan’s face twists up into something close to fear. He steps forward abruptly, and Felix takes an involuntary step backwards. His bare feet slips against the rain-soaked deck, and it makes him stumble back back back. _

_He spreads his arms, steadies himself, exhales a long sigh of relief. It’s short-lived, because suddenly something warm and heavy is shoving his chest backwards. _

_Over the railing he goes. _

_Shock gives him perfect clarity: it allows him to feel each individual raindrop that hits his face as he twists in the air. It allows Felix to see Chan’s face as he leans over the railing, the bow of his lips twisted into something that resembles _Felix. 

_There’s a terrified look on the counselor’s face. He looks at Felix like he’s the end of the world, and despite the situation, Felix can’t help but smile. _

_And then he frowns, because there’s another face peering over Chan’s shoulder, and _ he’s _ smiling too. ) _

“-elix? Felix?” Chan sounds panicked. One of his hands is gripping his tightly. “Are you okay?”

“I remember now,” Felix says slowly, sliding the palm of his hand against his temple. He feels as though a very heavy fog has dissipated. “He pushed me. I slipped, but I managed to catch myself- and he _ pushed _me.”

Chan looks stricken. “You didn’t remember? I thought-,” 

“No,” Felix whispers, staring down at the place where Chan’s fingers link with his. “I guess I blocked it out, or forgot. This whole time, I thought you just watched me trip and fall.”

Chan shakes his head. “No- no. That was Bomhyul. I’m sorry, Felix. Seriously. I think about it all the time.”

“There’s something seriously fucking wrong about that guy.”

“I know. He has his fair share of issues- but that’s no excuse for how he treated you- treated us.”

Felix stiffens. “What did he do to you?”

Chan laughs, bitter and laced with a deep, slow-burning anger. “He outed me to my family. Told them everything. It was my choice, _my _decision, and he took that away from me.” 

“Was your family-?”

“They were fine with it, but that isn’t the point. “

“I know.”

Yonghwa seems to materialize out of nowhere, notepad in hand. He takes a peek down at their interlocked hands and smiles. “Are you two ready to order?” 

Felix flushes and shakes his hand free. “Er, yeah.”

Chan watches him carefully, expression conflicted and palm still open. 

»»————- ★ ————-««

Felix has to give it to Yongwha: the food is really fucking good. The company isn’t half bad, either. 

( By ‘company’, Felix means Yonghwa. Chan is still annoying.)

»»————- ★ ————-«« 

“So,” Felix says later, when the sky is pitch black and the inside of Chan’s Jeep is quiet but not quite as tense, “How do you want to get rid of Bomhyul?”

“In tiny garbage bags, dispersed in trash cans throughout camp.”

“Something _legal,” _Felix whines. _I don’t want to share a cabin with him for the next month. _

Chan shoots him a half smile. “I’m sure we’ll think of something.”

_We? _Felix can’t help but like the sound of that. 

The drive back from the beach seems short; perhaps that is in part due to Felix dozing off halfway through. 

The radio is playing faintly in the background- some top forty pop, no doubt - and Chan is singing along quietly, his voice barely audible over the sound of the engine. It reminds Felix of warm caramel and smooth velvet, and it pulls him down into a light slumber. 

“I’m sorry,” Chan whispers to Felix at some point, voice crackling. “I’m so, so sorry.” 

Felix, fast asleep, doesn’t hear him. 

They get back to Yellow Wood around midnight to find an irate Jisung waiting up for them. He’s standing in the staff parking lot, arms folded and face thunderous. 

Chan purses his lips. “Aw, shit.”

Felix fiddles with the zipper on his windbreaker. “We’ll have to tell him everything anyways. There’s absolutely no way I’m co-leading with that asshole.”

“Touche.” 

Jisung descends on them the moment they get out of the Jeep. “Do you _ know _how much chaos the two of you have caused?” 

Chan flashes a brilliant smile at him. “A lot?” 

“A moderate amount,” Felix guesses. 

Jisung glowers. “I’m not amused. I was forced to handle your cabin, Chan- and Felix, you were supposed to give Bomhyul an orientation and rundown of Spruce’s schedule _ .” _

Chan and Felix flinch simultaneously. The crease between Jisung's eyebrows deepens. He’s been in this business long enough to smell trouble. “What’s going on?”

“Soooo,” Chan says, clasping his hands together and standing awkwardly, “About Bomhyul…” 

“He lowkey tried to murder me, like, four years ago,” Felix blurts. 

Jisung blanches. “_What?” _

As it turns out, Jisung can’t actually fire Bomhyul based solely on the hearsay of two of his employees; however, he _ can _switch counselors around.

“So what I’ll do,” he says finally, tapping his chin with a forefinger, “Is move Chan to Spruce with you, Felix. I’ll have Bomhyul look after Willow instead.”

Felix shrugs. “Fine by me.” 

Chan nods silently. Jisung continues. “I’ll also arrange Spruce and Willow’s schedules in such a way that any interaction between them will be at a minimum.” He looks up. “Does that work for you two?” 

“Yeah,” Chan murmurs. “Sorry for all the trouble, Wooj.” 

“No, I’m sorry. I wish I could do more.” 

Felix pats the manager on the shoulder. “Don’t worry, man. We’ll take care of the rest.” Whistling, he beckons at Chan, and the two of them head off for Spruce. 

Jisung squints. “What does that mean? Felix? Felix! What do you mean?”

“What _are _we going to do?” Chan queries. 

Felix smiles benevolently. “We’re going to make his life a living hell.”

The Spruce kids are, unsurprisingly, wide awake when Felix and Chan step through the front door. 

Minwoo shrieks and launches himself towards Felix, wrapping his arms around Felix’s waist. “I _ knew _the ghost didn’t kill you!”

“Where _were _you?” Eunsoo asks, eyes wide.

Changhoon notices Chan standing awkwardly off to the side and gasps. “What’s the Supreme Evil doing in our cabin?”

Chan quirks an eyebrow. “Supreme Evil?” 

Felix blushes. “Can you blame me?” He crouches down and gathers all the kids together. “So here’s the thing, guys. Bang isn’t actually the Supreme Evil. The r_eal _Supreme Evil just made us think that.”

Jinho steeples her hands, brow furrowed in concentration. “So if Bang isn’t the Supreme Evil, who is?”

Chan takes a seat on the floor as well, and the kids reluctantly part for him. “There’s going to be a new leader tomorrow. His name’s Boomer.” 

Minwoo nods. “And he’s the Supreme Evil.”

Changhoon sticks his hands in the air. “Freckles?” 

“Yes?” 

“Can we prank him?” 

“Absolutely,” Felix replies, struggling to maintain a straight face. “I have a few things in mind.”

Sleep doesn’t come easy that night, knowing that Chan is on the bunk directly underneath him. 

Felix pushes his face into the pillow and does his best to push the last dregs of his resentment for the older man away. _Force yourself to hate someone for four years, and you will. _

Chan’s voice blooms from the dark, soft and a little hoarse. “Felix?” 

He pauses, deliberating on responding or not before caving in. “Yeah?” 

“Why do you think he came back?” 

Felix doesn’t really have an answer for that. Some people, he’s found, are just sick and twisted and born not quite right. It’s just an unlucky coincidence that Chan ran into Bomhyul, and that Felix was so infatuated with Chan. T_he butterfly effect, and all that. _

“I don’t know.” 

When Spruce walks into the mess hall the next morning, the common area goes utterly and completely silent. This is something for the history books: Freckles and Bang walking side-by-side, arms brushing and identical gleams in their eyes. 

Seungmin, immersed in the tiny LED display screen of his camera, doesn’t look up until Heejin knuckles him in the ribs. “Dude. _Dude. _Look.” 

He does, and his jaw drops. Never in a million years did he expect to see Felix and Chan getting along. They’re sitting side by side, talking quietly. The simmering tension that seemed to follow them has dissipated into thin air. 

All around the mess hall, the Yellow Wood counselors make wary eye contact with each other and think: s_omething is up. _

Spruce settles at their regular table, with nine chairs instead of seven. Jisung smiles over at them and dings the little bell next to the staff table. “Good morning, everyone!”

“Morning, Griiiiizz,” the kids chorus back. Jisung clears his throat. “I’d like to make a new announcement. Starting today, we have a new counselor coming here to look after Willow.” 

The Willow cabin, temporarily headed by a frazzled-looking Chungha, erupts into chatter. Chan waves at them apologetically. 

Jisung holds up a hand to silence them, his smile tight. “I know it sucks- Bang is a great leader, isn’t he- but Freckles needs a hand with Spruce. Boomer will take care of you guys just fine.” 

As if on cue, the front doors swing open. “Speak of the devil.” Chan mutters, gaze cast downwards. Felix swallows around the lump in his throat and grips the thick fabric of his shorts with sweaty fingers. 

Bomhyul strides in, braids swinging and bracelets clinking gently against each other. They’re like wind chimes. Or warning bells. The look Jisung sends his way could freeze a large lake. “Here he is! Willow, wave at Boomer. Boomer, wave back.” 

Bomhyul smiles at the kids and waves. Felix fights back a wave of nausea and looks away. Something warm lands on his knee; Felix startles and looks down to see Chan’s hand resting there. He turns his head slightly to catch the tail end of a strained smile. 

“Thanks,” he whispers, chest tight, and the hand squeezes his knee gently in response. 

Jinho pokes Felix in the arm. “Is _that _the Supreme Evil?” The other kids lean in, shooting dirty looks in Bomhyul’s direction. 

Chan nods, voice conspiratorially low. “It is. Don’t be fooled by his hippie image.” 

Minwoo nods diligently and makes a quick note in his little journal, pen flying across the page. 

Jisung releases the hordes of hungry children to the buffet line before making his way over to the Spruce table. “You two good?” 

Felix rubs his eyes with both hands. He’d gotten almost zero hours of sleep the previous night thanks to anxiety-induced thoughts and moving Chan’s stuff into the Spruce cabin. “Could be worse.” 

Chan shoves a slice of orange into his mouth despondently. “Hnngg.” 

Jisung sighs. “I won’t make these next few weeks easy for him. I promise. He won’t be invited back here ever again, if that makes you feel better.” 

Felix manages a watery smile. “It does.” 

The kids come back with their breakfast trays in tow. Chan and Felix get up to snag their own meal and are immediately cornered by Seungmin and Heejin. 

Heejin narrows her eyes at Chan. “What are you two up to?” Seungmin says nothing and throws Chan a look that could probably liquify metal. Felix grabs the two of them and pulls them into the kitchen, Chan in tow. 

It takes several minutes, but by the end of it Seungmin isn’t directing his full wrath towards Chan. Not all of it. The redhead jerks his head towards the older counselor. “You’re still an asshole.”

Chan spreads his hands, the textbook definition of self-depreciation. “I know. I’m sorry.” 

Heejin clucks her tongue. “So the new guy is the problem. We gonna get rid of him?” 

Chan grins, all teeth, and leans back against the kitchen counter. “Yeah.” 

“You better.” Seungmin smiles back so fiercely that it makes Chan do a double-take. Changbin peers around the dish rack, flour-stained apron tied around his waist. “Hands off of the counter, dude. God knows what your hands have touched.”

“Rude,” Chan drawls, but pushes off from the counter all the same. 

“Hey,” Seungmin says casually ( he’s actually quite breathy, but neither Heejin nor Felix have the nerve to poke the bear at this moment ) . “What’s cooking?”

Changbin dusts off his hands and points to the oven. “Cinnamon rolls. And a revenge plot, apparently.” The cook yawns and picks up a sack of flour under his arm. “Sorry, I couldn’t help but overhear. The new guy sounds like a real piece of work.” 

“He is,” Seungmin agrees, staring at the bulge of Changbin’s biceps. 

The other counselors do their best not to laugh at the flustered expression on Changbin’s face.

»»————- ★ ————-««

( _ “-hasn’t he woken up yet?” _

_That’s mum. Felix squints and tries to look at her, but it’s as though his eyelids have been replaced with sandbags. Heavy, heavy. _

_It takes all he has in him to just concentrate on listening. There’s another voice, speaking with the practiced calm that only healthcare professionals seem to have. _

_“Your son has suffered a severe head injury. It’s normal for his body to regulate itself and give his injuries time to heal- all of his brain activity and vitals are normal.” _

_She’s quiet for a moment. There’s a faint sniffing sound. “I’m sorry- I just-,” _

_“It’s okay. This is a stressful situation, but there’s no need to worry. Your son is in good health and in good hands.” _

Severe head injury? 

_What happened? Felix tries to think back, tries to remember- but he’s sleepy, so sleepy that he’s dragged down into a medicated slumber before he can comprehend it. ) _

»»————- ★ ————-««

The Willow cabin finds itself under a barrage of attacks: eggs placed carefully in their shoes, garbage bags hidden underneath bunk beds, and toads placed on pillows. 

The brunt of the harassment is directed towards Boomer, it seems: he stomps into the mess hall one day covered in marshmallow fluff and peanut butter. 

Everyone knows who’s doing it, but nobody is actually able to catch the habitants of Spruce cabin doing the deed. 

Quietly, the campers ask each other why the prank war between Spruce and Willow is still happening when the former leaders are now working together. 

Boomer smiles at them and says that it’s a great mystery, indeed. 

»»————- ★ ————-««

Felix adjusts the flashlight under his chin and lowers his voice to a gravelly rumble.

“They say that she and her children were buried on the hill right below us- and to this v_ery day, _their tormented spirits wander, looking for the men who murdered them.” 

His words hang in the air; the kids look terrified. Minwoo resembles a caterpillar more than anything, wrapped in several blankets, and Eunsoo and Jinho are holding each other’s hands tightly, faces pale.

Felix pauses for effect before going on. “And they say that on dark, moonless nights that she looks through cabin windows, searching for her children…”

Kevin makes an alarmed choking noise and points at one of the windows. “She’s there! She’s _right there!” _

A chorus of shrill screams erupt as the campers turn to see the ghost of the murdered duchess in the window.

Felix covers a smile behind his hand. 

The ghost taps at the window with a long, pale finger, her eyes blank and empty. 

“Hnnngh,” Daehwi says. 

“I’m peeing,” Minwoo screams. “I’M PEEING.”

Sora squeaks and slides under one of the bunk beds. 

“Wait,” Felix says, brow furrowed. “I think she’s gone?” They all peer forward at the window. 

There’s nothing there- just a dark expanse of trees and sky dotted with the faint neon yellow lights of the camp below.

“Is she really?’ Eunsoo asks, voice tremulous. “I don’t want to die. Not until I’ve gone to Disneyland.” 

_Skrtch-skrtch. _

They all freeze at the faint, rasping sound. Felix leans back and waits for the kids to figure it out. 

Changhoon, normally so brash and bold, scoots over to tug at the sleeve of his cardigan. “Do you hear that?” 

Felix tilts his head and plays dumb. “Hear what?” 

_Skrtch-skrtch. Skrtch-skrtch. _

“_That!” _

Jinho covers her face with both hands. “It sounds like it’s coming from the roof. It’s _ on the roof .” _

Seven pairs of eyes swing slowly up to the little skylight in the cabin roof. An empty white face peers back, palms pressed flat against the glass. _ Skrtch-skrtch. _

“Oh no,” Felix deadpans. “What will we do.”

Changhoon pulls off his shoes and throws it at the skylight. “Go away! I already have a mom!” 

Sora, still under the bunkbed, joins in. “Yeah! And you’re ugly!” The rest of the kids slowly join in, hurling insults at the figure on the skylight with increasing gusto.

Felix snickers and sends a text to Chan: 

_they think that you need to invest in a good manicure _

The ghost gives one last, pitiful _skrtch-skrtch _before slowly retreating. The text arrives moments later: 

_I’m actually a little offended? _

_ur hands are fine _

_What are you? A hand expert? _

_shut up i was trying 2 be nice _

_Aw thanks babe xx _

_Babe? _Felix makes a strangled noise and throws his phone onto the bed. “Well! I think she’s gone, you guys. You probably offended her back into the grave-I hope you don’t talk to your parents like that.”

Changhoon blinks up at him, his brown eyes confused. “My parents taught me how to talk like that.” 

“Your parents sound kinda cool,” Kevin says, eyes shining. “Mine are lame. They make me drink wheatgrass and do yoga like four times a week.” 

“You’re _thirteen, _ ” Sora says incredulously. “You shouldn’t be drinking _ wheatgrass.” _

“I know!” 

“Isn’t that illegal?”

Chan saunters through the front door, a plastic bag in each hand. “I managed to wrangle some baked goods from Gnome. Anyone want some?” He pauses and does a double-take. “What’s wrong, guys?” 

“There was a _ghost!” _Minwoo screeches, glasses fogged up, and Chan does his best not to smile. “Did you?” 

Felix crosses his arms and leans back against the wall. “It was very upsetting. I think we’ll need some scones to recover.” 

Chan shoots him a smile, eyes crinkling, and Felix has to take a moment to make sure that his heart is not _ really _exploding out of his chest. 

_Well, fuck, _Felix thinks, but does his best to ignore the feeling in his chest as best he can. There’s scones to eat, after all, and a few more haunted tales to tell. 

»»————- ★ ————-««

Jisung taps the mic, effectively silencing the crowd. “Hey, everyone! It’s time for the thirtieth annual Yellow Wood awards!” 

The campers cheer, exchanging excited looks and chattering amongst themselves. Most of them have done this before, and they’re looking forward to the main event: the Counselor Crown. 

It’s always been a toss-up between Chan or Felix; this year, people are torn on who will win. It’s up to the campers to decide- a vote is done on the second-to-last day of camp. 

“Before I get into the awards,” Jisung adds,”Does anyone think they know the real name of their counselor?” 

A couple kids tentatively raise their hands, and Jisung invites them up to the front to try and guess. The first few are funny- one kid insists that Seungmin’s name is _Simon- _and another gets Jisung’s name right and is rewarded with an inappropriate amount of candy. 

With that through, Jisung starts presenting awards. It’s cutesy stuff- Best Cabin, Most Cheerful Camper, Next Picasso- and Felix finds himself spacing out a little.

Eunsoo has taken a black sharpie to Chan’s arm and is drawing little flowers all over it; Felix watches her work with an affectionate smile. They’re all such wonderful kids; with a bit of luck, Felix will get to see them again next summer. 

Minho walks forward, a little slip of paper in his hand. “And now for the moment you’ve all been waiting for: the Counselor Crown!” 

Everyone in the mess hall turns to stare at Felix and Chan. They exchange a look. _This summer was different, _it says. _Once again, something has changed between us. _

Felix turns away and catches Bomhyul’s eye. He’s almost smiling, his eyes hard and glittering with a dangerous kind of light.

Minwoo tugs on his arms, whispering something. _Eat shit, _Felix thinks, sending a glare Bomhyul’s way, and leans down.

“Sorry, can you repeat that?” 

“I think I dropped my watch on the way here.” 

“Okay.” Felix leans over and nudges Chan with one shoulder. “Minwoo lost his watch- I’m going to go see if we can find it.” 

Chan nods absentmindedly. “Don’t get lost.” 

“Ha, ha.” 

They’re halfway to the exit when Minho announces the winner of the Counselor Crown. “Aaaaand the crown goes to-,” he pauses and squints down at the little piece of cardstock, a small frown on his face. “-Boomer?” 

_What? _

There’s applause from the campers and silence from most of the counselors. Spruce cabin sits in shocked silence. Felix swallows and turns to see Bomhyul trotting up to accept the award. Minho all but throws it at him. 

Flustered, Jisung makes a move for the mic, but Bomhyul gets to it first. 

“Thank you, thank you,” he says, motioning for the kids to stop cheering. “It’s really an honour to have this award. I even wrote a little speech.” 

A strange, unfurling sense of dread fills Felix’s chest as Bomhyul pulls out a wrinkled piece of paper in his pocket and begins to speak. 

“This probably sounds a little stupid, but I don’t think I can leave camp without telling you this. Have you ever loved somebody so much that it hurts to breathe?” 

Minwoo’s voice is shaky. “Freckles? You’re holding my arm really hard-,” 

_No. No nononono . _Felix drops Minwoo’s arm and bolts out of there, nausea twisting in his gut. 

Somebody _had t_aken that letter Felix had held so tightly in his fingers, even at the bottom of the cliff. Bomhyul must have pried it out of his fucking hands- or his pocket- and taken it. 

_Sick, _Felix thinks. _He’s so sick._

There’s somebody chasing after him, a second pair of sneakers digging into gravel, and all of a sudden it’s too _much, _it’s that night all over again-

“Hey! Hey. Felix, wait.” Chan snags his wrist and digs his heels into the ground. “What was that? Did you _ write _that?” 

Felix takes a shuddery breath and shrugs. The clouds above them are stone grey. They smell like rain. “A long, long time ago.”

“What?” Two hands grab his shoulders and spin him around. Suddenly Chan is far too close for Felix’s comfort, close enough that Felix can make out all the faint freckles and moles on the older man’s face. “You need to _ talk _to me, dude.” 

Felix does his best to still his rabbit-running heart and looks somewhere just over Chan’s left shoulder. “I don’t know what you want me to say! I was a _ kid . _It wasn’t even- it doesn’t matter! It’s not like that anymore.”

“Oh,” Chan says, looking equal parts surprised and flustered, and that’s when Felix knows that he _gets _it. "_Oh.” _

Felix stares at him, rooted to the spot by the realization that he wants to _kiss _Chan, that he’s probably always wanted to kiss Chan, that he never stopped wanting to, even when he hated the him. 

Seungmin knew that. Heejin knew that. Most of the counselors probably do, too. 

Everyone but him and Chan. 

Chan slowly pulls his hands off of Felix’s shoulders, and Felix immediately misses the warmth. “So you’re not- you don’t feel that way anymore?” 

Any disappointment Felix hears in Chan’s voice is chalked up to wishful thinking and pushed aside. 

“No,” Felix lies, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. “Sorry if that makes things weird.” 

Chan shakes his head. “Nah. You were a kid. That kind of thing happens- puppy love, right? I can’t help but feel bad, though. Maybe if I’d picked up on it, none of this would have happened.” 

Felix jerks his head back towards the mess hall. “And then you’d probably still be with _him. _Or have been with him long enough for him to fuck your life up.” 

“I guess so,” Chan murmurs, gaze so heavy that Felix can’t maintain eye contact for longer than a few seconds. “That was a fucked up thing for him to do- imagine keeping some kid’s love letter for four years.” 

_Wish it had been you instead, _Felix wants to say. He’s saved from his own loose tongue by Heejin, who bursts through the front doors of the mess hall kamikaze style. 

She looks _ furious. _“Where is he?” 

Chan and Felix blink up at her. Chan takes an unconscious step away from Felix and clears his throat. “Where is who?” 

“_ Bomhyul, _ ” Heejin mutters, her fists balled up. “I’m gonna _ kill _him. I’m going to put cyanide into his oat milk.” 

Felix suddenly feels very, very tired. This whole thing is getting old- they’re all _ adults, _right? Why can’t Bomhyul act like one?

“I just want this summer to be over,” he says. “I never want to see Bomhyul again.” 

Heejin prances over and pats his shoulder, her expression sympathetic. “Of course. Leave it to us.” 

Jisung pokes his head out one of the windows, red marker smeared across his face. “Freckles! Bang! Your kids have beach time now!” 

“We’ll be right there!” Felix calls back, and when he turns around, Heejin is gone. 

Suspicion lights a flame in his chest; the guilty-amused look Chan has on his face only feeds into his hunch that something is going on. 

“‘Leave it to us'? What does that mean?” 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Chan’s dimples make a brief appearance, then disappear. They’re so distracting that Felix forgets about Heejin’s ominous words for a solid four hours 

It’s only when they’re sitting on the gently bobbing dock and watching the kids splash around in the water does he remember. 

_ Leave it to us. _

Does that mean Heejin is going to deal with Bomhyul? 

_Better her than me, _Felix thinks, and immediately regrets the thought. She shouldn’t have to deal with anything Bomhyul-related, and neither should he. All he wants to do right now is go somewhere and cry, but that’s not happening. He has a job to do. 

A bucket of cold lake water hits him in the face, shaking him out of his reverie. Sputtering, he sits up, eyes wide. “Holy shit!” 

“No swearing,” Changhoon chides, pointing a red plastic bucket at him accusingly. “It’s our last day- come play with us. Bang is already in the water.” 

Felix wipes his eyes and sighs. “Fine.” He stands and snatches Changhoon, throwing the camper over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. “But you’re not getting away with splashing me, buddy. I’m getting _revenge.” _

“Noooo,” Changhoon laughs, fists tapping against Felix’s shoulder blades. “Have mercy- Bang- _B__ang! _Freckles is attacking me! Bang!” 

Chan’s voice comes from somewhere on the water. “I can see that.” 

Felix grins and launches Changhoon into the water. The splash that ensues is impressive- but not as impressive as the cannonball that Felix makes just a few seconds after. The water closes around Felix like silk, light and soft; there’s a soft pulsing against the back of his eyes. 

When he opens his eyes, everything is shades of green and blue, shot through with rippling beams of white light. He only swims back towards the surface when his breath runs out. 

Jinho is peering over the side of the inflatable ring, eyes wide. “You can hold your breath for a really long time!” 

Felix looks from side to side before leaning in. “It’s because I’m part mermaid.” 

Jinho wrinkles her nose at him. “I’m not a _baby, _Freckles. I know mermaids aren’t real.” 

“You’re not an adult then, either, because all adults know that mermaids _a__re.” _

She snickers and splashes him with water, prompting an all out war between the campers and the counselors. 

The evening ends like this: seven kids and two adults lying on the wet wooden dock, bone-tired but giddy. 

Chan sits up and stretches. Felix does his best to not notice the way the fabric of his t-shirt clings and stretches across the muscles on his chest. “How do we feel about dinner?” 

Minwoo makes a noise like a deflating balloon. 

“It’s a cookout,” Felix wheedles. “They do this on the last night of camp. Ribs. Pork belly. Barbecue chicken. Bee-,”

Felix has never seen children run so fast in his entire life. He also wants ribs, but his legs are numb. He might not even have legs. He stares up at the sky, watching for the last strips of purple and pink to fade- watching for the first star. 

“Hey.” 

“Mm.” 

“You okay?” 

“I want ribs.” 

Chan huffs out a little laugh and crouches down next to him. “Changbin will set some aside.”

Felix closes his eyes. “Good.” 

“I’m sorry that this summer didn’t go the way you planned.” Chan- is Chan leaning over him, now? 

Felix doesn’t dare open his eyes to find out. “It’s fine,” he manages, pulse thrumming in the pit of his throat. “It could have been worse.” 

“It should have been _better,” _ Chan whispers, and oh he’s _ close _now, close enough that Felix can smell his aftershave and the berry gum he’s always chewing.

“You know- Felix, I think I-,” 

“Freckles!”

Felix startles and sits up, his forehead smacking directly into Chan’s. Pain explodes in his forehead. Feeling more than a little disoriented, he groans and rubs the tender spot forming there. 

Jinho trots towards them, her twin braids leaving wet spots on her dry clothes. “What were you two doing?” 

“_Talking,” _Felix grits out, face warm. 

He mutters a quiet _sorry _to Chan before straightening up completely. “What’s up?” 

Even at thirteen, Jinho has the expression of somebody who is very aware that they’ve interrupted A Moment. 

“Sorry to uh-well- something is happening to the Supreme-to Boomer- and I thought you might want to see it.” 

Chan staggers over to them, one hand pressed over his brow. “What’s going on?” 

Jinho lowers her voice. “Boomer’s going _crazy.” _

»»————- ★ ————-««

And he is, actually. Felix and Chan arrive to the cookout just in time to see Boomer throw his plate to the ground. There’s a shocked ripple around the stone amphitheater. 

Felix raises an eyebrow. “Oh, _ my.” _

“It was an accident,” Changbin says smoothly, cooking tongs in one hand and a plate in the other. “Those happen sometimes.” 

Bomhyul is almost vibrating with anger. “There is _ breast milk _ in my dinner. Breast. Milk.” 

“Okay, Boomer.” 

_What? _

Chan leans in, lips ghosting across the edge of Felix’s ear. Felix does his best not to shiver. “He’s vegan.” 

“Ah,” Felix manages, head fuzzy. “I see.” _This is going to be a problem, isn’t it? Finding out that you’re in love with your ex-crush-turned-ex-rival-turned-friend, and on the last day of camp, too. _

“Did you know that cows need to be pregnant to give milk? Do you know what _that _means? It means that cows are inse-,” 

Jungkook steps forward, expression stormy, and Bomhyul shrinks back. The chef is intimidating both in presence and physique- even if he does have an apron tied around his waist. 

“There are kids watching,” Jungkook says quietly. “Act your age, please.” His voice is soft, smooth, even, but nobody is convinced. Not when there’s a razor blade waiting at the end of his sentence. 

Smoke crackles in the fire pit and billows out towards the skies in thick, grey plumes; meat sizzles and bubbles on the grill. 

A muscle in Bomhyul’s face twitches. “Sorry,” the man says, clearly not sorry at all. “I get touchy about things like this.” 

Changbin smirks. “Clearly.” 

The expression that crosses Bomhyul’s face is nothing short of murderous. He stands up and stalks away; conversation and laughter bubbles up around the amphitheatre. The campers have already dismissed the incident- the staff, not so much. 

“_Man, _that guy is a little bitch,” Heejin says breathlessly, pushing a handful of hair away from her face.

Felix jumps. “Where did you come from?” 

Heejin’s eyes dart around evasively. “Oh, places.” 

“That’s not very reassuring.” Felix mutters. Heejin coos gently and threads her arm through his, wedging herself between him and Chan. 

“Sure it is! Let’s go get ribs. I want ribs.” She drags Felix towards the tables with a surprising amount of strength. Chan watches them go, expression bemused, and waves when Felix mouths _ help me . _

“Are you going to tell him that you like him?” Heejin demands once they’re out of earshot. “It’s the last full day of camp.” 

Felix bristles and then deflates. “I don’t- okay- no. I’m not. There’s no point.” 

Heejin snags a paper plate and shoves it in his hands. “Okay, one: I’m glad you’re admitting you like him instead of making yourself hate him. Two: why _not? _What’s the worst that can happen?” 

Felix loads salad on his plate and pretends to think. “Oh, I don’t know- maybe destroying the fragile friendship that we’ve somehow managed to create over the past three months?” 

“Shit,” Heejin mutters under her breath, and then, “Fuck. Well- I say fuck it.” 

“Here’s the deal: if I tell Changbin I like him, you have to tell Chan how you feel,” Seungmin adds, cutting in front of Heejin with practiced ease. 

Felix snorts. “I’m not falling for that. You’ve been planning on telling him since the start of this summer.” 

Seungmin makes a face. “Too bad. We’re best friends. If I tell Changbin, you’re morally obligated to tell Chan.” 

“I thought that you hated him.” 

“I hated him because I thought _ you _hated him,” Seungmin says accusingly, pointing the salad tongs in Felix’s face. “You clearly don’t now, and he didn’t really do anything to you, so I’m over it.” 

“Whatever,” Felix mutters, accepting a cut of meat from a quietly amused Jungkook with a nod. “I’m still not doing it. You can do whatever you want.” 

“Fine,” Seungmin retorts, and drops his plate onto the table with a _thud_. “I will.” 

Heejin, Felix, and Jungkook watch as Seungmin slides under the food table and saunters over to Changbin. 

“Oh my god,” Heejin breathes, eyes shining, “He’s actually going to do it. Oh my god.” 

From this angle, they’re only able to see Changbin’s back. Seungmin smiles, says something, and Changbin nods. Then they’re leaning in- Changbin drops his spatula- and oh, _that’s _what-

“Everyone!” Felix calls. “Look, an eagle!” He points in the opposite direction of the barbeque, and every single person turns to get a glimpse of the bird. 

“I can’t see it?” Someone yells, and Felix nudges Heejin in the stomach. She coughs and points. “It’s right there, you guys! Wow. That is _such _a large bird! That could feed an entire family for a week.” 

Felix covers his face with his hand and shakes his head. _S__eungmin owes me big time. _

_You should probably tell Chan, _ a tiny voice whispers. _Remember how awful you felt the _ last _ time you didn’t? _

_Shut up, _ Felix thinks, and spoons rice onto his plate aggressively. There’s a point to be made, there- he’s lived with so many _what ifs _and _would could haves _that some part of him urges him to pull Chan aside and just tell him, just let him know. 

_I’m tired, _ Felix realizes, o_f just letting things slide away. _

He looks for Chan and finds him directly across one of the campfires. Maybe it’s just a trick of shimmering smoke and fire, but Felix swears that Chan is looking at him, gaze steady and expression undecipherable.

Felix swallows and breaks eye contact first- a coward again. _ Guess that fall down the bluff took it out of me. _

Seungmin comes back, cheeks red and smile wide. Felix pushes his own self-pity into the back seat and throws himself into the conversation. 

He’s _happy. _He is. 

_So why does it feel like something is missing? _

_ »»————- ★ ————-«« _

( _ Someone comes into the room the hour before the hospital closes. Felix waits. He’s gotten good at that. It’s not Seungmin-his best friend had visited earlier in the day. _

_“So, hey,” the person says, voice wobbly. If Felix could flinch he would. It’s Bang- Chan. He’s here. _

_“I just- I just wanted to stop by and- god. Why were you following us? This wouldn’t happen if you hadn’t-,” _

_Hurt and anger wash over Felix in a conjoined wave. _My fault? I didn’t do anything wrong. 

_You snuck out after curfew, a little voice murmurs into his ear. You were going to try to confess to a counselor, silly. _

_Chan drops a small bouquet of something floral on Felix’s bed and begins to cry. _

_Felix can do nothing; he listens to the older man crumble in front of him and thinks that he never wants to look Chan in the eye ever again. ) _

»»————- ★ ————-««

The first and last days of camp are always the most chaotic. They require every single staff member to be on high alert so that they don’t have another Incident ( in summers past, children have hidden in walk-in coolers in a last-ditch attempt to evade going home ). 

Felix has been on his feet for hours now. On an errand for Minho (“I’ll pay you ten bucks if you get my makeup bag from the Aspen cabin, Felix!”) , he cuts through the staff parking lot and runs smack dab into Bomhyul. 

Bomhyul turns, looks at him, and smiles. It’s not a nice smile. 

_Leave, _ Felix’s body warns him. His toes curl inside his sneakers. _Get out of here. It’s not worth it. _

Felix bites the inside of his cheek and tries to get his brain to unfreeze itself. It would have been foolish to think that Bomhyul would really stay away from him, no matter how many times Jisung promised otherwise. 

None of the counselors are supposed to leave until late tonight- but Bomhyul, it seems, has never been good at following rules. On an errand for Minho, Felix cut through the staff parking lot and run smack dab into Bomhyul. 

“It’s been a while, hasn’t it?” Bomhyul muses, pushing off from the chrome surface of his truck. “The last time I saw you, you were just a kid.” 

Felix stares at him, a strange kind of numbness sliding across his chest, and says nothing. 

Irritation flashes across Bomhyul’s handsome features. “Don’t you have anything to say?” 

Somehow, Felix manages to get his vocal cords to work. “Not to you, no.”

“I think I deserve an apology,” Bomhyul says. The harsh laughter that tears itself from Felix’s chest surprises the both of them. 

“_You _pushed _me _off of a cliff. I don’t owe you anything.” The rage that coils inside of Felix’s stomach scares him. It’s not the quick, red kind of anger- it’s molten hot and black, like it’s been simmering in there for years. 

_It has. _

Bomhyul steps closer, gets in Felix’s space, and that’s when Felix notices somebody darting away from the back of Bomhyul’s truck into the woods. 

_That was a person, right? _

The faint smell of smoke creeps into the air; Felix narrows his eyes and tries to move around Bomhyul for a better look, but the older man paces him step for step, like they’re both dancing to a fucked up tango.

“_You,” _Bomhyul growls, pointing an accusing finger in Felix’s face, “Have been nothing but a pain in the ass since day one. This was all your fault.” 

Felix peers over his shoulder. “That’s nice, but-,” 

“If you hadn’t come along and _ ruined _ everything, Chan and I would still be fine. We’d be o_kay.”_

“Hey, I think your car-,” 

“Listen to me.” Bomhyul grabs his shoulders and gives Felix a rough shake. “The only reason I came back to this stupid camp was to get Chan back, and you ruined that.” 

Felix scowls and pushes Bomhyul away, hard. He’s never been a violent person, but he’s wound up, angry, and wouldn’t be entirely opposed to punching the older man right in the jaw. “Don’t you _fucking_ touch me. I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

There’s a hard, angry light in Bomhyul’s eyes. “I’ve seen the way he looks at you. Stop playing dumb.” ‘

Felix pauses. _What? What is that supposed to mean? _

Deep down, he already knows, really, but he can’t quite make himself believe it. 

_ THOOM. _

Bomhyul twists around comically fast, his eyes wide. Felix watches with slack lips as fireworks explode upwards from the bed of Bomhyul’s truck, popping and sparkling in the sky overhead. 

At first, it’s funny- the expression on Bomhyul’s face alone is enough to satisfy Felix’s thirst for revenge for several lifetimes- and then, somehow, the truck catches on fire.

Flames lick up the sides of the truck. In the distance, children begin to scream like living smoke alarms. 

There must be a lot of fireworks, because they just keep _ going, _painting the sky with blue and purple and hot white. 

The bushes to Felix’s left rustle suspiciously. He looks over to find a disheveled Heejin, who’s standing with one hand over her mouth. There are leaves in her hair. 

Her eyes are shocked, but Felix thinks he can see the corners of her mouth curling up into a grin. 

Nobody knows it yet, but this very moment will become camp lore and legend. Campers will gossip about the ghost who set a counselor’s car on fire until the end of time. 

“I _live _in this car!” Bomhyul cries, hands twisting in his hair. “This is my _house!” _

Felix thinks he hears Heejin mutter ‘boo fucking hoo,’ but he can’t be entirely sure. It’s hard to hear over the sound of revenge.

A tire pops, making the three of them cringe and cover their ears. Seungmin jogs up, hands and fingers covered in a suspiciously glittery powder. “Hey, it wor- oh, holy _shit.” _

“Maybe we should phone the fire department,” Felix says faintly, staring up at the billowing column of smoke. 

“We could,” Heejin agrees. Neither of them move, transfixed by the blaze in front of them. 

“You two are _u__seless, _ “Seungmin exclaims. “I’ll do it.” He whips out his phone and dials, keeping one eye on the bonfire. “_Shit. _We really fucked up.” 

Felix makes a strangled noise and looks from Seungmin to Heejin. “You two _did _this?” 

“_Shhh,” _ Heejin hisses, holding a finger up to her lips. “Technically we _did _it, but like, half of the counselors planned it-,” 

“Shut up_,” _ Seungmin whisper-screams. “I’m on the _ phone.” _

“Freckles?” 

Startled, Felix turns. “Changhoon, you can’t be here. Go back to the mess hall for pickup, okay?” 

Changhoon peers around Felix’s waist, his eyes the size of dinner plates. “Woah, is that the Supreme Evil’s _t__ruck?” _

( Bomhyul is borderline hysterical now. “_What _did he just call me?” )

“Y-e-s,” Felix says, and gently snags Changhoon’s shoulder. “Let’s get you back to Bang, okay? Seems like he’s not very good at keeping you all in one place.” 

“But he was looking for _y__ou,” _Changhoon whines, and Felix nearly trips over his own feet. “He told us to stay there, but we all heard the noise and wanted to see what was going on.” 

A particularly loud pop makes the both of them jump; Felix quickens his pace, torn over whether to be amused or horrified by this turn of events. As long as nobody gets hurt, it’s fine. He’s mobbed by his campers almost as soon as he walks through the double doors- 

“I don’t want to go back home, Freckles, I can’t drink any more wheatgrass-,” 

“What’s going on outside?” 

“My mom says she’s going to be pretty late!” 

Felix motions for them to calm down. “Kevin, I’m sorry, but I can’t do anything about the wheatgrass. There’s an issue with Boomer’s truck outside-,” 

Changhoon, ever the gossip, interjects. “-it’s on _fire-,” _

“- _ thank _you, Changhoon, and if your parents are late, that’s fine. I’ll be here all night.” Felix winks and spreads his arms; the kids giggle. He’s really going to miss them. A couple of them- Minwoo and Jinho, to be specific- had approached him earlier and asked if it would be possible for them to be in his cabin again next summer. Felix made no promises, but he’s sure he’ll be able to work something out with Jisung. 

Chan skitters through the front doors a few minutes later, expression alarmed. “Oh, thank god,” he says, breathing hard. “You’re here.” 

Felix, taken aback, can only nod.

»»————- ★ ————-««

“I told the fire department that it was an accident,” Jisung says later, his arms crossed firmly against his chest. “But I think we all know it wasn’t. If I ever find out who did that, you’re getting fired.” 

The silence in the staff room is unnatural. 

“However,” Jisung continues, “The expression on Bomhyul’s face as he was driven off the property in the back of a police car was absolutely fucking _priceless_.” 

It’s clear to everybody that Lee Bomhyul won’t be setting foot in Yellow Wood ever again. 

The room explodes into cheers and applause. Heejin and Seungmin shakes hands with half of the staff, Changbin and Jisung included. 

“Looks like they were all in on the prank, huh.” Chan sidles up to him, drowning in an oversized black hoodie. Felix takes note of the bruises on Chan’s knuckles and wonders if they match up with the black eye Bomhyul was sporting in the back of the police car. 

“They burned down a car,” Felix replies, a tiny smile sliding across his face. “I don’t know if I’d call that a prank.” 

“I don’t think they meant to burn it down,” Jungkook supplies helpfully. “I wouldn’t have bought the fireworks if they did.”

“You’re evil,” Chan mock whispers. “Pure evil.” 

Jungkook winks and pats him on the shoulder. Felix makes a mental note to never get on Jungkook's bad side. 

“So,” Seungmin calls, “Staff party tonight?” 

Chan raises his glass of apple juice in the air. “Sounds like a plan!” 

There’s another round of cheers, followed by a bout of suspicious giggling. Entirely too exhausted to care, Felix sighs, shrugs, and wanders off to go find some graham crackers and chocolate.  


_ »»————- ★ ————-«« _

Felix stomps towards the beach, sand spilling into his sneakers with each step. “Let’s go stargazing with everyone tonight, Seungmin said. It’ll be fun, Seungmin said.” He squints at the dock. There’s maybe one person on it. “That doesn’t look like _everyone _ _ .” _

As he trudges closer, he’s able to make out a sharp profile and curly hair. It’s Chan. Felix’s fight or flight instinct kicks in and he pauses, one foot hovering above the ground. 

_Oh my god. I’ve been set up, haven’t I? _

Chan waves at him, effectively destroying Felix’s urge to bury himself in the sand and hide. “Hey! Where’s everyone else? Minho told me that the rest of the staff were going to come down.” 

“I think they’re going to be a little late,” Felix replies, not in the mood to watch Chan go through the same humiliating realization as him.

“That’s fine. You’re good company.” Chan smiles at him- those dimples again, _ god. _The tips of his curls and slope of his cheekbones are painted gold by the setting sun.

_Not fair__, _ Felix thinks, more than a little hopeless. _He’s just not fair. _

“I wish I could say the same,” Felix drawls, crossing the last few metres to the dock. 

Chan punches him in the shoulder. “Rude.” 

“Lying is a sin, dude.” 

“Yeah, well, so is being a douchewad.” 

“You don’t see that written down on stone tablets anywhere, though.”

Chan rolls his eyes and pulls his backpack up against his chest. “Fine. Guess you’re not getting any chocolate.” 

Felix perks up. “You’re my _best _friend, Chan! You’re the _greatest! _ My mother wants to disown me and adopt you, instead-,” he squawks as a chocolate bar hits him right in the nose. “Oh, thanks.” 

“Anything to get you to shut up,” Chan says airily, but there’s no bite to his bark. He gestures to the backpack. “Think we can get through all of these before the others show up?” 

Felix takes a massive bite of his treat, fully aware that the rest of the staff will not be joining them. “Oh, absolutely.”

It’s easy, talking and bantering with Chan. Felix finds himself loosening up around Chan, finds that his sharp edges turn soft. They talk about meaningless things: tv shows, camper shenanigans, the best way to cook a marshmallow. They end up talking about Bomhyul, too, but it’s short. Neither of them want to linger on that night on the cliff again. 

Chan confesses that he’s afraid that Bomhyul will try to find him again: “I’m just tired of thinking about running into him.” 

“I don’t think that either of us are going to see him again,” Felix says finally. The sun slides down the line of mountains like an egg yolk, yellow-red and almost liquid. “Jisung isn’t going to let him come back here. I think that he’s going to be bitter about this- about everything- for the rest of his life.”

“Good,” Chan mutters, brows pulling together. “He deserves worse than a ruined truck.” 

“Maybe,” Felix agrees. “But with his plethora of issues, he’s never going to find somebody who loves him. That’s revenge right there.” 

Chan whistles lowly and pops an m&m into his mouth. “Damn, that’s brutal.” 

“Am I wrong?” 

“Well, no. But you can’t just say it like that, oh my god.” 

“You called me a miserable virgin pineapple last summer. 

“That was then,” Chan insists, waving a hand as if to dismiss four summers of mutual torment and general mischief. “This is now. We’re like, best friends now. Soulmates.” 

Felix inhales a piece of chocolate the wrong way and chokes. 

Twelve chocolate bars and one awkward Heimlich maneuver later, the two of them are lying on their backs, watching the stars fade into existence. Chan points up at a purplish spot in the sky, the silver rings on his fingers sparking against the dying light. “Watch there- see that cloud?-yeah. Orion will show up first. Look closely, or you’ll miss it.” 

“Okay,” Felix whispers, suddenly feeling very happy, and does. It’s like watching light come through the negative in a darkroom: all of a sudden, images start to form, collecting shape and shadow and light. It’s only when the cloud dissipates and the purple spot fades to black that the stars appear. 

What Felix sees takes his breath away. He’s seen stars before, peered through shitty telescopes and sat on the roof of his best friend’s house to get closer to the moon- but never anything like this. There’s only the lake, the dock, the sky, and them. 

Sitting like this, Felix can’t tell where the sky ends and the water begins. 

“Seawater comes in here through a little inlet on the other side of the lake,” Chan says, pointing west. “It brings in all kinds of things.” He reaches down and slides his hand across the water. 

Felix sucks in a breath as thousands of tiny, bioluminescent plankton bloom out and away from Chan’s fingers, twisting and funnelling around each other. 

Felix reaches over and dips his hand into the lake water, marvelling at the neon-turquoise trail of light that chases after his fingers. “It’s so _pretty.__” _

“Very,” Chan agrees. Felix glances over to find the older man looking directly at him. It’s dark enough that he could be wrong, but- he swallows and looks away, the back of his neck prickling. “It is.” 

“What are you doing for the rest of for the rest of the year?” Felix asks, desperately doing his best to circumnavigate the heavy tension hanging in the air between them. 

Chan shrugs and leans back, propping his head up with his hands. “Enter a couple of surfing competitions before the season ends, maybe. Go finish up my music production degree.” 

Felix blinks. “You do music production?” 

“Yup. I’d tell you to check out my Soundcloud, but that would be too cliche of me.” 

Felix laughs. “It probably would.” He worries at a hangnail for a moment before continuing, his voice coming out hesitant. “I guess you’re staying in Australia for that, then.”

“Well,” Chan says slowly, and Felix heart leaps, “I was offered a year long internship with a big company in Seoul. Got the letter a few weeks back. 

“Oh,” Felix breathes. “That’s awesome- that’s a good opportunity, right?” 

Chan hums. “Feel kinda guilty about accepting it, though.” 

“Why’s that?” 

There’s something about being in the dark that makes you hyper-aware about the things around you. Felix can’t really see Chan, but he can feel him- feel the heat radiating off of his skin and feel the shape of where he should be, even without touching him.

Chan speaks and his voice is low, lower than Felix has ever heard it go before. It sends a warm flush throughout his body, makes him want to cover his face with his hands. 

“When they sent me the offer, it felt like I was being given an opportunity for two things: a potential career in the music industry, and- ( he stumbles over his words here)- you.” 

Felix sits up and stares at him, mouth open. Chan carries on, blissfully unaware that he has dropped the verbal equivalent of five thousand pounds of dynamite on Felix. 

“I can’t really decide what it was that made me finally decide to stay. I guess it doesn’t matter.”

“What,” Felix croaks. The star-speckled glass surface of the lake blurs in front of him. 

“I- how have you not picked up on this?- like you, Felix. Really like you. I have for a while, now.”

“You like me? _Like _me like me?”

There’s a soft curl of amusement in Chan’s voice. “_Like _you like you.”

Felix makes a wheezing sound. There’s no way that this is happening. He has to be dreaming. 

_Seventeen year old Felix would be losing his mind right now _ _ . _

A hand on the nape of his neck, light and careful: “Hey, hey. It doesn’t have to be a big deal.”

“You’re coming to Korea because of me,” Felix mumbles. “That’s kind of a big deal- and you don’t even know how I feel about you.” 

“Partially because of you.” Chan grins and crouches down in front of Felix. “I’ve always had a bit of a gambling problem.” He narrows his eyes and leans in, his nose brushing against Felix’s. “So you’re telling me that you don’t feel the same way?”

“Nooooo,” Felix says shakily, cheeks red. Chan grins and snakes a hand around his waist. 

“You like me too, don’t you? I think I’ve figured out how to speak in Felix.”

“I hate you,” Felix squeaks, heart in his throat. “Hate you so much.” 

“Well, we’ll see about that,” Chan says, and kisses him.

It’s every fairytale kiss combined into one; it’s the kiss that Felix thought Chan deserved four years ago, and it’s one the both of them deserve now. 

Chan’s lips have no right being this soft. Felix tilts his head and kisses him the right way- properly- and Chan makes a soft, butterfly kind of noise, melts against him, right there on the water. 

Chan tastes like marshmallows and campfire smoke, sweet on Felix’s tongue and hot as lit coals when his hands slide under Felix’s shirt. 

Felix sighs and drags his hand up the nape of Chan’s neck, running his fingers through the older man’s curls. The resulting shiver makes Felix smile. 

Both of them are trembling; whether it’s from cold or nerves or something other Felix will never know. It’s reassuring that they feel the same way. When they part, they’re both breathing hard. Chan smiles, all dimples, and Felix loses feeling in his knees. “Still hate me?” 

“No,” Felix admits, a little sulkily, and Chan throws his head back and laughs, right there under the stars and the sky. 

“We should try again,” Felix says after a long, calm moment, and Chan beams. “Try what?” 

Felix points at the few scant inches between the two of them. “This. Us. Whatever you want to call it.”

Chan tilts his head thoughtfully. “Hmm. I _guess _so.” Felix is one curled first away from punching the older man when Chan raises their interlocked hands in the air and calls out to the air. 

“_We did it__!” _

“Chan,” Felix says slowly, the cogs in his brain whirring, “What-?” 

Distantly, cheering and yelling leaks from the cliffs overlooking the beach and lake. Felix squints, dumbfounded. “Are there people up there?” 

“Yeah,” Chan replies, looking far too proud of himself for Felix’s liking. “It’s most of the staff. I told them to go up there.” 

“What for?” 

Chan winks and points up at the night sky. “That.” 

Felix doesn’t even have the chance to ask _what__, _because there’s a popping noise and the sky explodes in a crescendo of neon light. Fireworks, dozens of them, erupting into yellow and pink and light blue balls of colour, slowly rain down around them like falling stars. “Oh,” Felix says quietly, eyes shining, “I see.” 

Chan had _planned _ this, the asshole. He’d been planning it for god knows how long, and that realization is enough to take Felix’s breath away. A knot forms in Felix’s throat; he sniffs discreetly and wipes at his eyes. Two hands pry away his own. 

Chan tilts his chin up with a thumb, eyes fond. “You’re not supposed to cry, dumbass. You’re supposed to be _happy__.” _

“I _am__,” _ Felix insists through tears, and pulls Chan in for another kiss. He tunes out the wolf whistles and cheering from the cliffs, the _pop-pop-pop-pop _ of the fireworks above, and the tranquil sound of water lapping against the dock. 

In his head, there’s just him and Chan, and heat, and a slow, strange joy in his chest that threatens to leak from his eyes. 

In this strange, suspended moment, Felix is the happiest he’s ever been. 

»»————- ★ ————-««

( _Somehow, Felix opens his eyes and looks directly at Chan. The older man is a wreck- puffy eyes, dark shadows under his lids. _

_Chan jolts a little. “Oh my god, you’re awake. Hold on, I’ll go get someone.” _

_Felix licks his cracked lips and tries to speak. __Chan furrows his brows and leans in, too close. “What was that?” _

_“I hate you,” Felix rasps, and Chan recoils as if slapped. “I _ hate _ you.” _

_In that moment, something changes. Felix and Chan both feel it. Chan pulls back and stares down at him, expression blank. _

_No, you don’t.” _

_“I _ do,” _ Felix insists, simultaneously horrified and relieved that Chan can see through him so well. “You disgust me. I never want to see you ever again.” _

_Chan takes it in a way Felix doesn’t mean, flinches back and tightens his jaw. It’s then that Felix knows that he’s made a mistake. _

_“I’ll get the nurse,” Chan says coolly, and practically sprints out of the room, leaving Felix with a sour taste in his mouth and regret on his tongue . ) _

_ »»————- ★ ————-«« _

“I love you,” Felix says, when the fireworks are gone and everything is quiet again. The words are hesitant and clumsy, but they’re enough. Chan squeezes his hand, kisses his cheek. 

“I know.” 

He does. 

Summer slips away between the spaces in their linked fingers like grains of sand. Felix thinks about the knotted years behind him, thinks of the year looming ahead of them- a year that he and Chan will share together- _together__\- _ and offers a smile to the stars.  


»»————- ★ ————-««

**SEPTEMBER**

Somewhere, probably pinned on the wall of a strange little restaurant, there is a crumpled, yellowed piece of paper. The words are smeared and bloated by moisture and age, now, but most of it is still legible. You just need to look closely. 

It goes something like this:

_Bang,_

_This probably sounds a little stupid, but I don’t think I can leave camp without telling you this. Have you ever loved somebody so much that it hurts to breathe? Have you ever taken a look at someone and felt your atoms shift, felt your entire lift swerve in their direction? _

_Well, I think that’s how I feel about you. Somewhere along the way, you turned into the sun and I got pulled into your orbit. There’s just something about you that is so warm- the thought of you is like trying to catch sunlight and put it in my pocket. You are just so good that it hurts. _

_I’m a camper and you’re a counselor. I’m not trying to start anything- that’s why I didn’t write my name. I’m not foolish, or stupid. But if this goes as planned, I’ll have given this letter to you, and that’s how you’ll know who I am. _

_People always talk about how painful first love is. I don’t get it. I’m glad it was you. _

_I hope we get to meet again someday. Maybe we’ll be friends. Maybe we’ll be more. _

_The stars don't glow nearly as bright as you._

_\- ★ _

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> haahaha im gonna sleep for 5000 years now! leave me a comment to feed my self-esteem <333 [ twt ](https://twitter.com/bIuntchan)


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